Findings:
- the cutest baker in the room was making sadfaces at me when i walked out
- Where do they go when they walk out and leave the body behind?
- How dating pretty boys helped me come out
- How to get an abortion when it's illegal to do so in your country
- I didn't mean to write this, but this is how it came out
- How do you know when your relationship is over?
- God was creepier than I expected so I took it out on the little people
- how to fall out of a marriage
- You know you're blacked out when...
- How to create cleavage when wearing drag
- How to make bellbottoms out of an old pair of pants
- So - you've been making love to me ten thousand miles away - how tantalizing.
- My soul is so viscous, I fear it may never pour out
- Aristotle's Lost Library, Medieval Andalusia & Chinese Paper, or How Europe Learned to Learn Again and Why the Renaissance Happened When & Where It Did
- The four problems of surgery, how they were overcome, and when
- When you're born with duckweed in your hair, it never washes out
- If you want somebody's heart, catch it when they cut it out
- Everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
- Getting water out of a cactus
- Making a ring out of a dollar bill
- When did the World get so old?
- We've got all this beauty and just enough time to figure out how to destroy it.
- So how did you two meet?
- How to walk past someone you work with in the hallways at the office
- How to scare the Hell out of a Lexus driver, or: Don't take sharp corners at 50mph in the rain
- This is what happens, son, when you let your wife's green lung get out of hand
- So bashful when I spied her
- anyone lived in a pretty how town
- That icky feeling when a client calls with a downed server and you have no clue how to fix it
- Tripping while trying to sneakily check out pretty girls
- When in doubt, throw it out
- This one goes out to you - not so much the people in the audience, but more the people in my mind
- Dust mop so magic she can not believe how fun it is to clean up after people
- he looks a little like you... so i would rather talk about other pretty girls
- A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying
- Building a rabbit trap out of two aluminum cans
- How to find out if ANY number is divisible by eleven
- How Eulenspiegel cleared out the merchant's house
- When the principal laughs so hard he can't suspend you
- How to close a KFC when you're a cook
- Rolling out fresh pasta
- Archived E2 FAQ: How come the site goes down so much? (document)
- Create a throwing star out of Post-it Notes
- How to flip a coin when you haven't got one
- How to get more out of Psi
- The dead eat hope. We had none to give them, so they were pretty emaciated by the end.
- Screaming Bullet of Compact Imported Death, or: How I Found Out My Mazda Protege Could Go 130mph
- How to carve a dodecahedron out of a cube
- How to scream when no one is looking
- How I found out there wasn't a Santa Claus
- We wanted to be together, so we worked it out.
- How to put a cigarette out on your tongue
- Enya Sucks So Much More When It's 4:00am at Wal-Mart
- Life is material; you just have to live long enough to figure out how to use it
- How to find out if an egg has gone bad
- How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
- Oh, so that's how it is
- i kissed her one last time, then walked out of her life forever
- when we drill a hole in the sky, what will run out?
- The best way to learn something is when someone else figures it out and tells you.
- He is so heavy when he whispers
- and I feel so proud when the Reckoning arrives
- I'll look at this in a year and wonder how I could have been so stupid
- If you want somebody's heart, catch it when they pour it out
- Weather can be pretty, yet so damaging. Sort of like some men I know
- Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
- And when she turned into a man, we were so proud
- How to make a bowl out of a vinyl LP
- How to Smile when You are in Pain
- Three Step Out For A Walk
- How to Ride Out a Storm
- Making a flame thrower out of a Bic lighter
- How to make a purse out of duct tape
- How to survive a heart attack when alone
- Getting the most out of being a temp
- How to break your neck and freak people out
- So this bald girl walked into a bar
- How to draw a 4-dimensional object, when you're limited to 3 dimensions
- Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
- How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
- And my licorice rope ladder is eaten and worn / how the hell do I climb out
- How to get drunk when in Norway
- How to pack someone out of your life
- So this one time, God walked into an inn...
- How to open a KFC when you're a cook
- All right, I'm God now. How do I get out of this mess?
- Sometimes when I walk the street
- how to short out a phone line
- How Eulenspiegel cheated a baker out of a sack of bread
- How to scare the hell out of people using flour
- So Pretty Please
- Weather can be pretty, yet so damaging.
- When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
- When we kiss I can hear your thoughts, so I would rather we didn't
- Building a castle entirely out of Mountain Dew cans
- How to do a lift walk on a rollercoaster
- we never really fight, so I don't know how this is supposed to go
- When my inside selves just jump out with wings of fire
- When my ten year old niece found out about masturbation
- Live so that they cry when you're born and laugh when you die
- I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
- sometimes when i think about how big space is i get scared
- Smoking from a Pringles tube
- When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
- How to Fall Out of Love
- Finding out where a net user lives
- Her grief is still too young to behave itself, so she never lets it out
- we walk the same path out of sync
- How to read poetry out loud
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others
- Her hair, tangled
- Getting small animals out of the walls
- So A Dinosaur Walks Into a Bar...
- How to make a weapon out of duct tape
- When did everyone get so attractive?
- Stand up for yourself, OR: How I got the shit kicked out of me
- How I decided not to stare out of a smoky haze of phony melancholy
- If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak.
- When you dream the end of the world, how does it happen?
- How to scare the living shit out of an arachnophobe with a black shoelace
- left everything on his desk and walked out into the bright sunlight
- Isn't it pretty to think so.
- How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
- Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
- How to get a Goth out of a tree
- So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
- How to make a skirt out of an old pair of pants
- when you walk with death
- Getting out of a traffic ticket
- When you blow out like a dead star
- It is important go out for a late walk in the new snow
- How to buy LEGO sets when you're over twice the suggested age
- So sick my follicles are crying out in pain
- When I heard about the funeral I said "Why?"
- How do you know when someone's your best friend?
- Movie trailers are not effective as advertising
- If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
- How to tell when a journalist has no idea what they're talking about
- when scalding water starts spraying out of your shower's hot water knob
- He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
- Getting your Christmas cards out at the last possible moment
- The last girl I dated was a vegetarian. We couldn't go anywhere and so it just didn't work out.
- How can something so incredibly beautiful be so incredibly wrong?
- The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
- How to add a folder in your Send To option when right clicking in Win98
- The donuts are so pretty
- How soft your fields so green can whisper tales of gore
- How to have an out of body experience
- So this one-legged man walks into a bar
- How to tell when someone else is full of shit
- She dumped me when she found out I'd been faking my Scottish accent
- Walking in NYC
- How to scare the shit out of someone
- Lost in Boston?
- How the Sun, the Moon, and the Wind Went Out to Dinner
- How to fall out of an airplane
- How to be a jerk and piss off your SO
- When all the stars go out at night
- How to jump out of a plane, and what it's like
- How to cut a hole in a postcard large enough to walk through
- How to build a computer out of black holes
- The true story of how I beat the crap out of King Kong, on top of the Empire State Building
- How to find out your own IP address
- when in doubt run it out
- Nobody Knows You when You're Down and Out
- When I look around, I see so much pain that mirrors my own
- How to walk using crutches
- I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
- Why women suddenly come out of the woodwork when a man gets married
- I wanna see it when you find out what comets, stars and moons are all about
- How Eulenspiegel talked two hundred boys out of their shoes
- So while Faust is busy trying to wipe the blood off his face and Shorty's trying to claw his eyes out, I mosey away and try my hand at storming the castle
- How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
- Grace and Fury walk with you, call each by name when the other has failed
- man when you are telling me how it was
- How to tell when a guy just wants to be friends
- On the beach, by myself. How it turned out.
- It all turned out all right but there was so much pain along the way
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