Apparently a special event for some people. My high school graduation is tonight. I get to give a speech to tons and tons of people and then walk across the stage and get a diploma. Then I go home and open lots of graduation presents from relatives. This is apparently more of a special event for my family than it is for me. I'm just glad to get rid of high school. And this means that I can move out next week.

I'm going to start my speech off with a redneck joke. Then I'm going to be very sarcastic and humorous. Then I'll end it with a bit of sappy nostalgic corniness about how we'll all miss high school. Then I'll make a Star Trek reference and walk off the stage. They're gonna' kill me.

Update: They liked it. Those weirdos.

I went to my little sister's graduation recently. I survived mine, but I think I just blocked it out.

With all the time I've been spending on E2, without watching TV or being at an educational institution, I have gotten the impression that the world may just be a sane place after all.

But going to a high school graduation reminded me just how far we have to go.

I counted more uses of the word "success" than I could keep track of. The speeches didn't say a single real or meaningful thing -- nothing that made reference to a wolrd I knew. They just quoted mindless and insidious platitudes, expecting the parents, and especially, the students, to smile and nod.

"In the years to come, you will face many fnord challenges and obstacles, but I think this school has prepared you well for success..."

Or something like that.

I think they're trying to make us just as afraid as they are. Of being caught on the wrong side of this great big demon they call "success." Of losing the office and the paperweight and the right to wear a suit... Of falling off the narrow path and into... Into what? Becoming what?

Well, they never talk about that, do they. Just vague references to alcoholism and welfare.

As the students came on stage to get their diplomas, my heart was warmed a bit. Some students were planning to "pursue higher education in Australia," and I laughed with them. Some were studying English or simply had no idea what they wanted to do. One person said they were "taking a year off to relax."

I wanted to cheer. Nolite te bastardes carbondonum.

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