A painfully simple concept, really. It's just a somewhat comical idea that a good dear friend of mine mentioned a while back, and I thought it was kind of strange/cute. Bongs, for hamsters. I mean, I'm sure it isn't a completely original thought, it's hard to find such things anymore, but still, I liked it.

I've actually dreamed up some funny hamster bongs, what they might look like, and such, not that I'm a bong expert by any means. Oh lordy. Sometimes I do think my hamster Joel could use some bongs, he spazzes on me, and pees in my hand sometimes.

Hamsters are the greatest.

don't actually give your hamster bongs, they'd probably just die from a heart attack.
Actually I'm kinda envisioning a bong, with a hamster in it. You know those exercise ball things that they run around in? Like one of those floating in a huge bong. Couldn't be good for the hamster, but the surreal value of taking a bong hit whilst looking at a hamster in the bong would be high.

I need some coffee.
For this project you'll need:

Use the soldering iron to burn a 1/2" hole about 3/4 of the way up the side of the fishbowl. Slide the PVC pipe into the hole about halfway and caulk or hot-glue it in place. Attach 8" of Habitrail to the top of the fishbowl, and go over all of the seams, ensuring they are airtight with your caulk or hot glue. Run a seam of caulk around the metal pipe and slide it into the PVC up to the hilt. This is the bong; it can be used as any normal bong... but now, we'll make it a hamster bong!

Set up your Habitrail so there are two "arms" running off the layout. One should run straight up, one should run horiztonally and end in the L-joint. There should be no air leaks in the layout between the two openings, although if there are leaks that aren't directly between them (feeding grids, etc) that's okay. Glue the wire-mesh screen in the tunnels so that the hamsters can't get free, but so that you retain the modularity--don't mess up the attachment points! Check the seals, and let your hamster loose.


Instructions for use:
  1. Fill bong with bong water--bonus points if you can sneak a goldfish in.
  2. insert mari... I mean, tobacco, into the metal pipe, and light it.
  3. attach hamster bong to Habitrail tunnels
  4. inhale through vertical pipe
  5. eat Doritos & distribute sunflower seeds to hamster(s) to cure munchies.
  6. talk to hamster about how great Jimi Hendrix's music was, and laugh at his witty and eloquent replies. Damn, if you could only remember all the deep shit your hamster thought of when you were high...

Disclaimer: this is a bad idea (tm), even if you like smoking from a bong, and especially if you have a hamster. I don't even think it would work, but if it did, the flavor and chemical makeup of the fumes would probably be altered by the rodents, and it would definitely be rendered less-than-healthy by the PVC. I don't recommend trying it "just to find out."

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