Getting out of bed is, in fact, as many people know and many others have failed to realize, one of the true forms of art
. Being able to get out of bed
on a set time, without oversleeping
, is just plain old-fashioned difficult
First, of course, make sure you have a high-tech, modern state of the art alarm clock. It should be reliable, and most importantly, have a sound that is sure to wake you up. Something sounding similar to a legion of five-year-olds with cheap synthesizers is to prefer. Shun radio alarms.
But just having the clock is not enough! What should you set it to? This may seem simple, but setting the alarm clock right is vital. Of course, you should allow yourself time to do your daily morning chores and routines and get to work, and also include an extra buffer for unexpected events. But do not set the clock too early! Safely assured that you've allocated enough time for three mornings, you will be misled into evil laziness and come too late anyway. This is a well known phenomenon. If teachers are upset about pupils always coming 8.05 when classes start at 8.00 and move the classes ten minutes, pupils will then be arriving at 8.15 instead.
The placement of the alarm clock is also very important. It should never be placed just next to the bed, or before you know it, it's received the beating of its life, and you're snug in bed, late for work once again. Place it somewhere where you will have to get out of bed in order to turn it off. And don't even consider coming anywhere near the bed after turning it off!
After setting your clock and going to bed, the actual task begins. The first and foremost piece of advice is: do not ever press the snooze button. Snooze is your enemy! If at all possible, surgically remove the button from your alarm clock! It is just another way of luring you into believing that things are under control, when in fact, you've just received a one-way ticket to Entropia. Assuming that your alarm clock has an annoying enough sound, and you followed the placement instructions above, you should already be out of bed. No, don't even think about it. If you go back into bed for “just another five minutes”, the tooth fairy will come and rip your sorry behind apart.
Now go take a cold shower damnit, before you do something you know you'll regret.