Well, um, I've never actually been to -- ummm -- Scotland myself, but my, um, sister was there, um, a few years ago for her, um, wedding. She wanted to, um, have it near all of the, um, scenery and the, um, sheep and so forth. It all went pretty, um, well, all things considered. She, um, wasn't even put, um, off at all about the, um, stampede that, um, tore through the um, reception hall. Two of our, um, uncles were actually, um, gored to, um, death by bulls, but that didn't stop her from, um, stepping up and saying "I, um, do."

Some people seem to have no control whatsoever over the annoying tendency to insert "um"s in their sentences as they speak. This is likely similar to a nervous tic, as it only really happens when people are momentarily stuck for the proper word. A few people, however, get stuck entirely too often, resulting in passages such as that above. These people are difficult to converse with, as the primary thought that runs through my mind is an analysis of the possibility that a stout whack on the head would somehow reverse their condition. Because of this little flight of fancy, I find myself trailing behind in conversation with ummers.

If you're afflicted with this problem, I'd suggest you see a speech therapist. It's really quite easy to clear up, no more than a matter of replacing the "ums" with silence. You'll probably advance a bit further both in your workplace and socially once people stop praying for your departure.

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