A close relative of the guitar hack, a drum hack is a drummer whose beginning/intermediate talent is eclipsed by his ego and eagerness to show off. Drum hacks are usually not fundamentally bad people, or even bad drummers for that matter. They simply allow their head to outgrow their abilities. Most drum hacks tend to be 12-15 years old, but adult drum hacks are not uncommon.

The drummer brother/sisterhood (which tends to be tighter than other instruments' fellowships because there are fewer of us) generally frowns on drum hacks, but at the same time is quite willing to help these misguided and less experienced players with their instrument. This is where many hacks drive a wedge between themselves and the drumming community; they often consider themselves too good to require anyone else's help.

Drum hacks present a major problem for anyone looking to form a band. Even in larger cities, the guitarist-to-drummer ratio is usually around 15 to 1, with perhaps a third of the drummers being classifiable as hacks. Many would-be bands have come and gone for want of a good drummer. For those two guitarists and bassist who desperately want to form a band, a drum hack is often their only choice.

Drum hacks are often lacking in certain aspects of drumming and attempt to compensate by emphasizing the things they can do well. For example, a drum hack may be able to blaze away on a double pedal but lack the ability to keep time. When this drummer begins to lose the time during a song, you can count on his double pedal making an appearance. ("I don't recall 'Blitzkrieg Bop' having a double bass break after the first chorus" says a confused bassist to the lead singer after a show.) My advice to any band that is considering bringing in a drummer that can't keep time: run away. A drummer that can keep decent time but can't imitate Neil Peart is a better choice than an Alex Van Halen wannabe that considers the four count a formality.

When performing with others, drum hacks are fairly easy to spot. Every song ends with a cymbal flourish or massive fill that incorporates every tom on his kit, and mini-solos are sown here and there in nearly every tune the band plays. Because of their inflated egos and tendency to turn a well-rehearsed song into an exercise in musical improv, drum hacks are frequently hated by their bandmates.

For those of you who like keeping an eye on a band's drummer, attending shows of bands that employ a drum hack get old rather quickly. After about the third song, you've seen every lick the drummer knows.