daytime television

Watching television programmes and the splendid televisions adverts during these considerably politely anti-social hours requires criteria that some people, yes like my parents, will never understand.

Students, dolieees, parents with small kids who cannot afford child care but are offered economic assistance as to ease or massage the unemployment statistics, retired persons, folk off sick from work, children poorly off school and night workers all have the same plight day after day.

Richard and Judy are the alternative 1st couple in Britain. Their show: 'This Morning' hosts variety, information, entertainment and friendship to the lucky lucky viewers. Formatted in the genre of a magazine the programme addresses pressing issues in our popular culture, like: how to cook a family Sunday roast dinner on a Sunday for your family!

Banality and patronisation at its best.

As with everything in life the message received is dependant on ones own cultural and social background. Day time television is more simplistic. It revolves, spins and implodes on the classification that its viewers are female.

The fashion slots on this weeks show were all aimed at teenagers as the schooling system over here was on holiday for a week. Teenagers according to the fashion and advice phone ins are all girls. How strange. A full week of 'teenagerism' and not one single mention of lads, blokes, boys.

All apologises.

Correct me now please as they were mentioned. Yes. The fashion and make up narratives consisted of sexist banter like:

"You'll have them eating out of your hand with this lip gloss!"

The young girl in question was 8 years old and she was receiving a make over with her grandmother and mother. The little lass had been crying as her long hair was cropped into the worst fringe ever by a man who should never be let near a scissors.

The format of a magazine show is of vital significance. Angela Mc Robbie's study on the now ex teenage magazine: 'Jackie' highlighted how images of romance and heterosexual sexuality are portrayed and presented to young girls.

The genderisation of magazines continues into adulthood and if it didn't then the hegemonic process of readership and content would not flourish and nourish the profit margins of those with the means of production and the programmed imagination of the reader.

These publications and televised magazine shows deliver false consciousness to the masses. I still watch them as they are so bad they are unmissable.

Or BAD TV! BAD TV! BAD TV! Bad TV makes me bored. Boredom crushes everyone. Bad TV!

Is there some law of physics which states that daytime television is universally bad?

Anyone who is retired, unemployed, or plain phoned in sick will know what I mean. The pattern is simple and unceasingly awful.

First, there will be some 'morning TV'. This will usually be something like Good Morning with Richard and Judy: z-list celebrities, cookery slots, phone-ins etc. All done in the most insincere, pastel, irritating manner possible. You will then have a few gameshows; Supermarket Sweep is a good example (Dale Winton, embarrased contestants, plastic vegetables). Smiling people with bad hair will be patronised by the incredibly camp host who, if it is Bob Monkhouse on Wipeout, will throw in some sexist mother-in-law jokes. Interspersed with the gameshows will be soaps such as Family Affairs and Home and Away. Following the gameshows and soaps will be childrens' TV, which is actually the best thing on all day. The realm of daytime TV will end with a programme such as Ricki Lake, where women tell their fiances that they're having a lesbian affair with their cousins.

The advertisements deserve a special mention. Whether accurately or not, ads people have decided that the primary audience for daytime TV consists of OAPs (senior citizens). As such, the adverts are for products such as Seven Seas Pure Cod Liver Oil, strairlifts, garden furniture, pension plans and adult nappies. Yay.