small girl growing into woman
I refuse pink
I refuse make up
I refuse social
I refuse girl talk
I refuse parties
I refuse dates

I accept exchange
another country
for my senior year

you don't want to miss
your senior year of high school
says AFS, rejecting me

yes I do
and YFU accepts

and I can try being social
I accept parties
I accept beer
I accept social

but I am the American
and when I am weird
it is blamed on that

I am therefore the least weird
I have ever been
in twelve years of school
and I have a boundary
of foreignness
that I can erect
at any moment

I refuse makeup still

for years and years

I am good at school
even in a language not mine
and I continue

the darkest thing I can imagine
is to be a wife
supporting a man's career

I refuse and go on

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