Having performed, received and observed this activity many times, and spent many pleasantly tipsy evenings discussing it with my female friends; I thought I would add my tuppence worth to this node.

The first thing I would like to say (to the ladies in the room) is probably the most obvious. Be clean down there! No man or woman wants a mouthful of rancid, sweaty lady parts (edit: some might, but I've never met one). Shaven or unshaven is a matter of personal taste, I personally prefer my playmates nice and smooth, mostly because picking hair out of one’s teeth during bedroom activity is not very sexy.

It is worth bearing in mind, should you wish to perform this act for your partner, that you may be refused. This can be due to deep seated hang-ups (such as sexual abuse) but is most often because women think they are ugly "down there" This may be almost impossible for most guys to grasp, but do bear in mind young girls are rarely told about their outer sexual parts (the vulva) and all sex education focuses on the vagina and the reproductive aspects (inner parts). The Vulva is also comparatively hidden (the penis is kind of visually obvious) and women rarely if ever see another women's most intimate parts, even in the changing rooms. This leads to worries about "normality" and "messiness" of appearance. Obviously all genitalia are different from person to person, and reassuring her that her woman parts are beautiful and amazingly sexy may help relax her.

If she doesn't want it, don't be offended, you would do well to spend time telling her how you feel about her, what you see as good in her, why you want her, treat her, let her know she is not another conquest, that you really care for her pleasure. she may still not be up for cunnilingus, but it will certainly improve your relationship.

Women also have worries regarding taste and smell. All women have a smell, but it is usually not unpleasant, and most women taste slightly "tangy" (to me anyway!).

Now, down to technique

  • Ask her what she likes! Some ladies are too shy to tell you, but trust me, even so, they will love the fact that you bothered asking. Should she be good enough to answer then do listen. Paying attention to the noises she makes whilst you are face down in her pleasure pie will also help.

  • Wetness is very important, dragging a finger over a dry clitoris is very painful, and in addition, wetness (unless there is a medical issue) signifies arousal. When feeling unhorny having a guy shove his face down there and slobber away is about as far from arousing as it is possible to a sex act to be.

  • Teeth: By all means, use them very gently (unless she shoves her crotch into your face screaming, "Make me bleed, beast man") nibbling the clitoral hood and inner labia feels very, very nice indeed. Biting the clitoris is a bad idea unless asked specifically, it is agony.

  • The Clitoris should be worked up to, having first spent lots of time on other parts (nipples, earlobes, outer and inner labia for instance) whilst licking the clit without doing anything else will probably induce an orgasm it is the equivalent of a substandard knee trembler (better than nothing, but not great), and she may find it impossible to get into the mood at all if you treat her like a machine (the clitoris is not a button, which will always dispense one orgasm).

    Most women prefer stimulation without the clitoral hood retracted, as the clitoris itself is extremely sensitive (even a tongue can feel like sandpaper).

  • Random and interesting fact: if your finger or tongue is resting on your lady friends clitoris during orgasm , you will feel it twitch very quickly, over and over again for seven to fifteen seconds... the same applies to her anus. this is not sure fire method of working out if she has orgasmed or not, but if she is very reserved, will tell you why she is smiling and cuddling you for no apparent reason!

    The clitoris can also become hyper sensitive after orgasm (something you chaps should be able to understand) although the female "latency" period is shorter than the males, please remember this, and lay off it for a while!

  • Tongue action... flicking the tongue gently, slowly or quickly over the clitoral hood, and labia feels nice, shoving it into the vagina produces some interesting (and usually enjoyable) sensations. Some ladies love this, particularly if you thrust the tongue in and out (be wary of tongue ache).

  • Fingers.. Are good for variation and giving your aching tongue a rest, a technique popular amongst my lady friends which combines fingers and tonguing can be best described as follows. Make sure she is very horny, slip one finger into her vagina, turn it upwards (so the palm is on the same side as her front, and the back of your hand faces her bottom) crook your finger, and feel for the soft, spongy part behind her pubic bone. You should be able to feel a "seam" with your finger tip, now make a "beckoning" motion with said finger, and be gentle. Apply your tongue to her clitoris gently, suck it, and brush your lips over it. She may go crazy and love this (I must say, in my experience, she will) or, she may feel like she is going to pee (this is because you are stroking her G-spot).

  • The "back wall" of the vagina has a very thin layer of skin separating it from the anal passage, stimulating it is highly enjoyable for many ladies, but worrying (e.g.: I feel like I might poop) for a minority, even if you are doing it with the tip of your tongue.

  • The cervix (feels like the end of your nose, located about 3 inches up the vagina and signifies the end of it) has no nerve endings for some ladies, andloads for a minority, be careful not to catch it with a nail, whilst it may or may not hurt, it will certainly bleed alarmingly. Stimulating this may be painful, or erotic. The reason I mention this is that, whilst concentrating on tongue action you may not notice that you are causing her some real harm.

  • A B C - If you have had little luck finding her preferences for stimulation, this is a great idea, trace the alphabet all the way through with your tongue, first the tip, then the flat of it. Note which letters she prefers.. and think about which parts of her these letters stimulate. Bingo.

  • Sucking: keep it gentle, beware of clitoral hematoma (where too much suction cases a clot in the clitoris, it hurts like crazy... I know from experience). In addition, try it on the outer and inner lips as well.

  • The Surroundings : make sure you are warm and comfy, propping her bottom up on a few pillows will help to intensify her orgasm as it tilts the pelvis, it will also save you neck ache. Candles, clean sheets and music are optional, but appreciated.

  • Breath: A warm gentle exhalation against the genitals feels lovely! Blowing hard against the clitoris also works for some ladies.

  • Sexy talk: go for it, "oh you taste so good", "your pussy is gorgeous"... and similar, it's nice to hear it, trust me, getting her to tell you EXACTLY what to do can be a massive turn on, for her, and for you. Even if she is not inclined to vocalise, if you keep it up, she will start to respond, "oh, that's so good", harder" ........

REMEMBER: All women are different; none of these suggestions is sure fire. Even if one day they drive her to the peak of a screaming abandoned orgasm, which earns you a month of daily blow jobs, the next day she may want to take things more slowly, harder, softer... or she might not want foreplay at all.

I am not going to discuss anilingus (tonguing of the anus) here, as I feel I could easily devote a very lengthy node to this, and I would get out off topic if I started discussing it here.

Medical Notes

With your face so close to her beautiful lady bits, you are quite likely to be the first to spot issues down there, don't be shy about telling her (nicely) as you could save her life.

  • Dry patches and soreness on the vulva can just mean she has changed soap powder, they can mean she has a mild infection (like thrush) but they can also signify cancer. Whilst cancer is mercifully rare, it is often dreadfully deforming or fatal as women ignore the itching, and thinking they have thrush, self medicate it with cream. Explain this to her, look cancer up on the internet, explain why you want her to go to the doctor and offer to accompany her.

  • White bits. Little white spots are normal, particularly around the clitoral hood. They do the same job as the little white spots under the ridge around the end of your penis, and are harmless oil glands. Flakes of white stuff (resembling cottage cheese) is usually smegma, lots of this combined with soreness/redness is generally thrush.

  • Bleeding/weeping spots or sores. This = bad, both of you need to attend the doctors or STD clinic straight away.

  • Lumps - tell her, get her to check and ascertain whether this normal for her, or not. But please do tell her.

  • Bad smells do not generally signify bad hygiene; whilst all women have a unique scent, their gorgeous bits should never smell unpleasant. If she smells pretty awful (even after a shower) decline to go down on her until she goes to a doctors to get checked out. Point out that vaginal infection can result in infertility, pelvic inflammatory disease (P.I.D) and cervical cancer, explain you love her and are worried for her.

  • Bleeding - "spotting" (light, short lived bleeding) out of a period is normal, but if it is persistent, painful, or your lover is carrying a child, encourage her to see a doctor.

  • Periods - If this is your bag, have fun, otherwise, there is no problem with cunnilingus if your lover is wearing a fresh tampon and has showered after inserting it (other than avoiding the string).

  • Pregnancy - Cunnilingus cannot harm a baby, in fact, as the woman's vulva has an unusually high supply of extra blood and hormones, (and may appear to slightly swollen as a result, which is normal) she will enjoy it even more. The baby feels those happy hormones released at orgasm and the orgasm also tones the intrauterine muscles. So go for it, you are making mum and baby feel great, and helping mums body prepare for an easier birth.

    hygiene for you:

  • Brush your teeth first! The mouth contains thousands of harmful bacteria and germs, the vagina is surprisingly clean, and does not. Do not go down on someone if you spot anything worrying, do not go down on anyone if you have a dental infection (oral dams are good if you must) and if you intend to include your fingers, keep nails short, free of jagged edges and clean.

  • SHAVE! Whilst having stubble is not dirty in itself, it can made a girl’s "Pretty Little One" very sore, in fact this soreness can easily escalate into thrush, as the skin is abraded.

  • NEVER blow into a vagina, you may cause a fatal embolism.

HAVE FUN

Many many thanks to Paraclete for helping out with this one (specifically the HTML). You are a diamond!

This article is being continually altered and updated, as and when I learn more about my own body, and the bodies of the ladies generous enough to share theirs with me. Please pop back for alterations and share your comments with me!

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