Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

crottled greeps

created by StFiend

(thing) by StFiend (4.8 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) Sat Feb 24 2001 at 17:28:52

Judging from the Google results I just got, these are apparently a mythical foodstuff among SF fans. No one's quite sure what they are, but most agree that they're decidedly unpleasant.
However, I know what they are, because I've read (or at least started to read) The Gripping Hand, by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. Greeps are an alien species vaguely like crabs, but less aquatic. They are served live in local restaurants in a large shallow bowl with edges just steep enough to prevent them from escaping. You stab one in the neck with a crottling fork, expose the meat, and eat it while it's still moving. The scene in the book where the protaganist orders them is quite memorable, and culminates with the line, "So, wretched sand dweller! Now you will tell me of your troop movements!"

It's also my band name. So don't steal it.

(thing) by Segnbora-t (16.7 hr) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 3 C!s Sat Feb 24 2001 at 18:17:50

The first appearance of "crottled greeps" seems to be 1953, used by Dean Grennell in a joke one-shot science fiction fanzine called Filler and containing nothing but short filler items -- "Filler 378" is quoted in several places as:
"But if you don't like crottled greeps, what did you order them for?"
Apparently, the origin of the words in the phrase is from the cartooning term "crottles," used to describe the little bubbles and lines drawn above a cartoon character's head to indicate that they are intoxicated; and an English-speaker's spelling of the French word "grippe," used in French and in the past also in English for the disease now called "influenza." In 1956, Lee Hoffman used the name to describe a "seductive but lethal viand" in a short story in another fanzine, Grue (issue #27). Many other stories used the phrase as a fun reference for dedicated fans to catch, and and at least one filksong. None of the stories until the 1990s really specified what, exactly, crottled greeps were. People's suggestions include:

In 1990, Greg Costikyan's "Another Day, Another Dungeon," took the running joke of no one knowing what crottled greeps were and ran with it; a fan review notes "Every time the characters stop for food, the food vendor tries to sell them greeps. The vendor would tell them his life story, complete with the story of the greeps. Strangely enough, every single vendor had a completely different species of greep. There were bird greeps, fish greeps, insect greeps, small furry greeps, and more." Apparently, though, the greeps weren't all served crottled.

In 1993, The Gripping Hand by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle topped the many fannish speculations by making the crottled greeps ordered by one brave traveler turn out to be live food:

The creatures in the bowl might have been four-legged crabs. Their sides pulsed. Renner remembered reading that they were land creatures. They could almost reach the rim before they dropped back. Their eyes were locked on Renner's as they climbed toward him. They looked hungry and determined.
"Pick up the crottling fork," Belinda whispered. "The two-pronged fork. Use your thumb and two fingers."
It was sitting beside the bowl. Renner picked it up. Belinda whispered, "Stab just behind the head plate. Do it hard enough to set the prongs. You don't want it to drop off."
Hesitating was bad: the greeps would move. You couldn't blame them. Renner stabbed one and lifted the fork. Belinda said, "Scrape it off on the edge. You didn't stab hard enough. They bite."
Renner scraped it off and tried another. The beasts weren't fast, but it wasn't easy to center the fork. He stabbed.
"Good. Pick it up. Your left hand takes the tail. Pull hard."
Renner pulled. The exoskeletal tail came right off, exposing two inches of pale meat.

Sources:
http://fanac.org/Fannish_Reference_Works/Fancyclopedia/Fancyclopedia_III/c_draft.html
http://www.sff.net/people/dragonwriter/wwfp/wwfpfoodanddrink.html
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crottled+greeps
http://www.smithway.org/fstuff/termsC-E.html
http://www.philsp.com/homeville/anth/t60.htm
http://www.webscription.net/chapters/0671795732/0671795732
http://forums.comicgenesis.com/viewtopic.php?t=19854&highlight=&sid=345ce99a0c49cbf139690d4f9dbe03b5___1.htm
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.sf.fandom/browse_thread/thread/17ae884e8f6d70b4/6abf29f976ecd3e5?q=crottled+greeps&lnk=nl&


printable version
chaos

On the gripping hand fuck truck Forks are the adolescent stage between teaspoons and tablespoons The sprehas had ponits and patles
The Eye of Argon live food grue spoo
Hello, I take Zoloft. I am so gloriously mentally ill! You will love me, yes? Larry Niven whoot Crottles
Grippe blog Frilly putty in me now The gostak distims the doshes
S&Ms The In Sound from Way Out! fanzine Penguicon
Google The ESP Game science fiction convention fandom
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
Look at this mess the Death Borg made!
Over-educated Supervillains
The Happy Prince
Removing head lice
L'Académie française
The Orders of Roman Architecture
Benedictus de Spinoza
How to catch crabs
Ethical Discussion on the Internet Worm
David Icke
Star Trek Episodes
Theory of Relativity
She calls him Sugarcane. He calls her Hurricane.
Persephone
New Writeups
Meezzio
Gotlandssnus(thing)
argv
Astral Plane(idea)
Madara
One Winged Angel(fiction)
Tom Rook
Talk is cheap(poetry)
shaogo
Adelle Davis(person)
Aerobe
race car g sfjsgsd(poetry)
Binah
Dream Log: July 5, 2008(dream)
StrawberryFrog
Forgotten things in space(idea)
antigravpussy
velvet revolution fairy tale(idea)
Heitah
Nerve agent VX(thing)
Pavlovna
shite(idea)
wonton
Days and nights come together in a slow falling down(fiction)
Pavlovna
wee(idea)
katherine
root log: July 2008(log)
Madara
There’s nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home(fiction)
This affordable entertainment brought to you by The Everything Development Company