I saw this guy in the adult education center one time. I was there to get my GED, and I recognized him from the soup kitchen - he was a friendly guy, and he was just perched on the desk of the old lady who ran the place, so I asked him, "hey, do you work here or something?"

"Work?" He said, with an incredulous, defensive chuckle. He had a pronounced lisp and strange face, and a wild mop of dark hair. "I'm on SSI. I can't afford to work."

I proceeded to ask him what he meant. He proceeded to explain that he had problems. Severe dyslexia, among other things. And the best job he could ever hope to get would only pay minimum wage, with no benefits. Meanwhile, because he had a disability, he received a stipend, medical care, and even a small amount of attention from the state social workers. The only way he could screw it up was to get a job - which would be hateful (being a peon, treated like shit, etc) and pay below the poverty line.

Frankly, I wasn't that jealous. It wasn't like being on vacation. Even at its best, you still live like shit. Bare minimum. Subsistence, really. But at least you had a roof, and a regular check. Some kind of safety. He was better off than me.

Why was this guy hanging out in adult ed? Well, he was trying to "learn, and stuff, just by listening," since he couldn't read, and no amount of kicking, scolding, or suffering would make him able to. The old lady would give him verbal lessons, once in a while. "Just for fun."

When I took the practice test, and the old lady looked at me with disbelief, and actually shouted (the whole little audience in the adult ed center heard)...

"Holy shit! You aced it!"

I caught him looking at me. And his look made me very, very sad. It was burning, abjectly, violently jealous.