By now, most people have heard the rumored-but-never-really-confirmed stories about the military training dolphins to attach bombs to the hulls of enemy ships, but it is a little-known fact that in the mid-1970s, the United States government tested a top secret defense system using marine mammals as missile payloads!

According to Pentagon files declassified in the late-1990s, the Navy developed a jetpack that could be slipped over a dolphin, a seal, or even a small whale. When activated remotely, it could launch the animal out of the water and guide it to a target, where the jetpack would explode. The Pentagon hoped that the MMEDS (Marine Mammal Explosive Delivery System) would prove to be both destructive and demoralizing to enemy troops (flying, exploding killer whales would indeed scare the hell out of just about anyone), but the project was scrapped due to expense (it was much cheaper to just launch the jetpacks at the enemy), public relations concerns (the possibility of public lynchings of the Joint Chiefs was considered fairly likely), and the difficulty of getting the harnesses on the whales.

And wait'll they see my exploding nodeshell missile!

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