Mmmm. Cow.
They're all kinds of tasty.
Yeah, okay, so they've got these great big eyes, and they look all cute and stuff, but , damn they taste good. I'd probably say that they're one of my favourite of the traditionally edible animals. Hell, they're probably my favourite if you include the non-traditionally edible animals. It's my English roots showing themselves.
There's a reason that the French call us 'les rosbifs' y'know...
Anyway. Back to the cows.
Cattle
The meat called 'beef' originates from cattle. These are bovines (family: Bovidea), and relatives include yak, bison, buffalo, antelope and so forth. Domestic cattle are Bos taurus, and there are many different breeds, examples being the Aberdeen Angus and Texas Long Horn. Cattle farming is a big business across the world, but the five largest producers are Europe, India, China, Brazil, and North America. And, things being the way that they are, the cheaper that you can sell it, the more people want to buy it. So let me give you a brief as I can possibly give you account on how beef is produced.
Beef Production
Okay, this could turn out to be a big section... but there's a lot to explain. First stop:
Dairy Farming
You see, we don't just farm cattle for their meat; dairy farming is big business too. A very big business. I'm sure most people are familiar with the traditional (and most popular breed of) dairy cow, the Holstein Friesian. If you can picture them in your minds' eye, what you'll see is a black and white patched cow, with long legs, massive udders, and an incredibly bony arse. These things have been bred over the centuries to produce up to 40 litres of milk a day... pretty much every single gene that they have is channelling all the energy that they consume into lactation rather than protein anabolism. Now, to keep lactating, a cow must have a calf every year. Half of those calves are going to be unable, no matter how hard they try, to become part of a dairy herd themselves. Damn that Y chromosome. So, those calves are separated from their mothers (who go back to producing milk for Mr. Dairy Farmer), and taken off to another field to be fattened up and... err...
We'll get to that bit in a minute.
But I just want you to think for a second about who fathered all these calves... Well, to be honest, it was probably an industrious bloke with a pair of rubber gloves and an apron. But anyway, if the genetic material used to impregnate the dairy cow came from a pure-bred dairy bull, then all the calves would be pure-breed. All the females would be used for dairy farming, but the males are pretty useless; they're, as a breed, unable to lay down that much muscle or fat. The unpalatable truth is that most of these male calves are usually shot dead within a few hours of birth. It used to be that they'd be milk-fed for 6mths or so, before being sold as veal.
The dairy industry and the beef industry are the same thing, when it comes down to it, which is why some vegetarians choose to be vegans. Vegetarians that drink milk and eat cheese and butter are still contributing, through their food requirements, to the early, unnecessary death of things; cute, baby, defenceless things at that.
I think that piece of knowledge may have just upped the E2 vegan percentage. Moving on.
Most of the time this doesn't happen; the donor sperm comes from a beef bull, that is, cows that have been bred purely for their meat. This creates...
Dairy-cross breeds
The resulting offspring are called 'dairy-cross' calves, and these cattle probably make up the majority of the beef that ends up on our table. The quality of meat from these cross breeds can vary considerably, and some of it is, indeed, very good. The important word there is 'some'. This is assuming that the cattle are raised by a farmer who cares for his stock; even then the process is highly controversial. They are brought up to market weight, usually within 12-18 months, using a combination of spring / summer grazing and intensive indoor feeding. They are also pumped full of hormones and antibiotics in order to get the job done as quickly and cleanly as possible; the faster it's done, the more money the farmer makes. It's a simple case of economics.
It's also a simple case of messing with the food chain.
Okay, I don't really want to turn this node into a lecture into the ethics of meat farming, that's a writeup all of its own. But it's worth noting that the intensive feeding is done as much on the cheap as possible; it used to be that the cheapest cattle feed of all was manufactured from abattoir waste and animals that died prematurely on the farms. The result of this was BSE. Now, the cheapest food that farmers have to feed to their cattle is GM soya... on top of the cocktail of drugs and hormones that we dose the animal up with, I wonder if we will ever learn. Remember, if they're eating it, and we eat them... we're eating it.
So, what should the discerning carnivore be looking for?
Suckler Herds
An unfortunate fact of life is that you get what you pay for. Suckler herds are never milked; they are kept and grazed exclusively for their meat. The pedigree herds have been bred over the years to produce the best beef possible from the environment that they live in. Essentially, all the farmer needs to do for them is provide grazing, hay, legumes, and other supplements by way of nourishment; and to ensure their good health.
They are called suckler herds because the calves are allowed to suckle off their mother.
Now, this isn't really the most economically cheap of ventures, and so the cost will be seen at the till. But you get what you pay for, and the meat tastes that much better on your plate. The time that the cattle are given to graze allows them to lay down fat and muscle gradually; by the time the animal is mature (in the UK, the legal maximum is 30 months) its meat is tasty and well marbled.
Anyway. Skip to the end: Good meat is worth paying for, and it's worth paying for good meat. Speaking as a complete and total, to-the-bone (excuse the pun) carnivore, it's actually very rarely that I eat meat, or at least meat that I cook myself, because I dislike having to eat supermarket meat. I'd prefer to eat the traditional, fully matured meat that you'll find at a specialist butchers on the rare occasions I can afford it, rather than the lean, tasteless, generic dairy-cross that you'll find shrink-wrapped in your local supermarket everyday of the week.
My body isn't a temple; I'm just fussy.
Beef Cuts
Now, there may be some American-English translation problems that occur during this writeup, and I'd appreciate any mistakes or additions being pointed out to me...
So, you've slaughtered your healthy, 30mth old steer that's been roaming around and grazing happily for the entirety of its life. Now what? Well, first the meat has to be hung a while to mature and let the flavour out; the same way you wouldn't drink beer two seconds after you brewed it (whatever those fools Budweiser will have you believe), you wouldn't want to straight-off eat the meat unless you had to. Letting the meat hang in a cool place for a month allows the muscle fibres to relax and become more tender. The fat is also able to solidify, and any moisture outside of the muscles themselves is drawn-out, paradoxically making the beef more moist when it is finally cooked.
Okay, you now have a well-hung carcass hanging in front of you. What next?
Well the butcher then divide the carcass up into what is called "the primal cuts", though the names and dividing lines of these primal cuts may vary depending on region and country. These primal cuts can then be subdivided into the meat cuts that arrive on your plate.
The Primal Cuts
This is a little complicated to do without a picture, but hey, writing is all about manipulating the mind's eye, right?
Neck and clod: very muscular and tendenous, and is usually sold cubed in the supermarkets as 'stewing steak'. 'Clod' is the muscle taken off the "arm bone" or humerus of the animal. If you were of a mind to ask your butcher for this specific cut, it's perfect for the minced (Usian: ground) beef that you'd use in a bolognaise or chilli con carne.
Chuck and Blade: This is lean meat from around and between the shoulder blades, and is often sold packaged as 'braising steak', or cubed as 'stewing steak' (are you starting to see why non-specifc supermarket packaging is... worrying? Personally, I like to know what it is I'm buying.) Perfect when used in stews, and again can be minced for wet meat sauces. I wouldn't say this would make great hamburger meat, as there's a lot of connective tissue in there.
Back rib: the primal cut contains four or five ribs, which are usually sawn off short so that the meat can be tied; or it's boned completely, rolled, and tied. Meat is relatively lean, tender and fine grained, and this is a good roasting joint.
Forerib: similar to the back rib, the primal cut contains four or five ribs, from which two-rib and three-rib roasting joints will be produced. This is the classic rib roast, beautifully tender, with a good covering of fat for self-basting, wonderful marbled, and ultimately it should be roasted on the bone to be fully appreciated. This is this primal cut that also gives rise the to the 'rib-eye steak' which is more popular on western side of the Pond, but is, indeed, a damn fine steak because of the aforementioned forerib's marbling.
Sirloin: The sirloin is a large section of very tender, top quality meat along the back of the animal that includes that last three ribs (wing ribs). There are several meat cuts that originate from the sirloin:
sirloin roast – At the hindquarter end, the sirloin can be cut up into large sections, on the bone, that make an amazing roast; the cut will have the fillet on one side, the contre-filet (which, on its own is called the sirloin steak or entrecôte) on the other, and the bone in between adding large amounts of flavour.
eye of sirloin – this is also a sirloin roast, but with the bone and fillet removed, making it a little cheaper. This can also be sliced into sirloin steaks.
wing rib – the transition piece between the forerib and the sirloin, this section of meat provides a wonderful roast, though it doesn't contain any fillet meat.
fillet (aka undercut, ortenderloin) – the fillet is the length of muscle running along underneath the backbone, and is partly the reason that most bulls are castrated. It's the tenderest meat available on the beef carcass, and it's all the more tender if the bull never has any urge to make any pelvic thrusts throughout the course of its life; the less a muscle is used, the more tender it will be. The fillet has a very subtle, delicate flavour and it should never be cooked any more than medium-rare; any more than that just obliterates the taste of what is a very delicious piece of meat. It can either be roasted whole, or sliced across the grain into steaks.
T-bone steak – a T-bone steak is the same cut as the sirloin roast; just steak width. This means that the steak contains a piece of fillet steak on one side of the 'T-bone' (which is the transverse process of a vertebrae), and a piece of sirloin steak on the other.
Porterhouse steak – similar to a T-bone, except the cut is specifically from wing rib end of the sirloin.
Rump: This primal cut contains the lowest vertebrae of the back and pelvic bone, which are removed. The meat is then sliced across the grain to produce tender, flavoursome steaks – but only if properly matured! If it isn't hung long enough, the meat will be chewy and bland. Rump can also be cut into roasting joints. Not to be confused with 'top rump'.
Oxtail: Slowly simmered, this produces the classic eponymous soup, but can also be used to make gorgeously flavoursome stews; an afternoons' worth of simmering on a stove will result in rich, gelatinous liquor and meat that falls off the bone.
Topside: The inner thigh muscle, this is a lean, fine-grained meat and is a relatively tough cut. Makes a good slow roasting joint. Can also be cut into thin strips from a steak and marinaded, and stir-fried.
Silverside: The back thigh muscle, has a coarser grain and is also quite tough (more so than topside), but has a good flavour. Gets its name from the silvery sheen of membrane over its internal surface. No use as a tradional roasting joint, but is great for pot roast, mincing for burger meat, spiced beef, bresaola, and marinaded for stir fries / barbeques.
Top rump: This is the cut of meat found immediately about the leg, and so is quite tough meat. Used for slow-cooked stews and casseroles, burger meat, and marinaded for stir fries / barbeques. I can also advocated boning and brining it...
Leg: The leg of beef, also called 'hock', is the cut from the top of the back leg. Very tough but very lean, and is perfect for slow cooking; stick it in a pot of boiling water still on the bone with some vegetables and some seasoning, leave that in the oven for three or so hours... and you have you a basic pot-au-feu. Again, you can also mince it for use in slow-cooked wet sauces like bolognaise.
Skirt: 'skirt' is the name for the various small internal muscles; the biggest piece is called 'goose skirt' or 'flank skirt', and it is found just inside the flank. Skirt is quite a coarse grain, tough, but lean, and requires a long, slow cooking time. It is classically used for steak and kidney pudding.
Flank: Also called 'belly', this is the abdominal wall of the animal. Very fatty, but can be brined to make salt beef, or cooked in a stew or casserole.
Brisket: the layer of meat overlying the breastbone and ribs that is the traditional cut for salting, put can also be slow-cooked.
Shin: Top of the foreleg of an animal, this is usually a very cheap cut, and very tasty; makes an excellent stew.
Marrow bone: This is the shin bone, sawed into half to be able to fit into a saucepan, and boiled to make beef stock. Afterward, the marrow can be scraped out and eaten on toast; though this is easier said than done since marrow forks don't seem to come as standard with most cutlery sets nowadays.
Remember, the more a muscle is used, the tougher it will be and the more cooking time it will require using a moist cooking method, such as stewing or boiling. The more tender cuts of meat come from muscle that isn't used very often, and these benefit from a more quick, dry cooking method such as roasting, frying, barbequing or grilling.
In addition, theoretically all meats can be marinaded; I use the word 'theoretically' because I can tell you right now that if you were to marinade any but the cheapest fillet steak (and I'm talking about even just showing it what a piece of garlic looks like) I will make it my personal mission to ensure that you are never allowed near another butchers until you've passed some kind of competency exam. I digress. Marinating helps tenderise the meat because the acidic nature of the marinade (wine, lemon juice, etc) causes the meat proteins to denature and allow the flavours of the marinade into the meat; optimally, the beef should be left to marinade for no longer than 4 to 6 hours, else you're just going to get mushy meat.
Of course, other edible and frequently eaten bovine parts include the tongue, sweetbreads (pancreas and thymus glands), tripe (stomach), liver, kidn.... offal. Bascially. You get the picture.
Buying Beef
So, what you are looking for when buying beef? Most people are on the look out for rosy-red / crimson, lean beef with a small covering of white fat while they are in the meat aisle. THESE PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS AND ARE IN NEED OF RE-EDUCATION. Which is why they should be reading this. When you're looking for beef, you're looking for beef that is obviously well matured, that is to say has been hung for a sufficiently long period of time as to have reached the peak of its flavour potential. The meat should a deep brown-burgundy colour; the outer layer of fat should be creamy or a creamy yellow. The meat itself should be dry, not shiny. When you press your thumb into the flesh it should be yielding, and the indent should remain. Also, look for marbling: veins of fat within the meat itself. The reason marbling is so highly prized is because it renders down while the meat is cooking, keeping it moist and succulent. Which reminds me; when looking for a good roasting joint, you want something that's preferably still on the bone, and I strongly advise you to ignore the lean meat. It will dry out very quickly and be insipid in taste; a layer of external fat and some marbling will keep the meat moist as it cooks and add to the flavour. And don't give me any of this "healthy eating" lark about the fat – how about you just enjoy eating really great tasting meat a couple of times a month, rather than so-so meat a couple of times a week? Life's all about compromise, and I'd rather have a small amounts of the good stuff, ta.
Oh, and talking about the good stuff... I've yet to confirm this with personal experience (a situation that I hope will not persist for long), but it is known to be fact that the best beef that a man can lay his hands on is that of the Wagyu breed from Japan; Kobe beef. These guys are genetically inclined to producing very marbled meat, that is extremely tender and flavoursome. Kobe beef is not exported from Japan, so the best that anyone living outside of the country is going to get without a plane ticket is Kobe-style beef; and even that costs a small fortune.
::sigh:: A girl can dream, I suppose.