I knew a woman who studied psychology at a major university, and got decent grades, and watched Jerry Springer, "because he helps people so much." And I realized that, in the years since Plato, we've become a very accepting people. It's wonderful to know that I live in such enlightened times. Wherever you are, this bud's for you, and all the people just like you, America's elite, who've reached for the stars, and grabbed on firmly to the low branches they encountered on the way; I'm proud to be here with you to usher in the age of good enough. A little diversity never hurt anybody.

Every time they mess up my order at some fast food dump, every time I hear the average sat score that gets you into college, every time our nations leaders mangle our national tongue in front of the press, a little lump slides down my throat.

Oh, this must be utopia! The land of opportunity!

And to another person I knew, a political science major, a decorated junior at an expensive private school, playing a trivia game for black history month, when asked what nation freed the slaves first, answered "New England," then corrected herself, "no, wait, that's a state," Cheers to you!

May I speak on behalf of the competent when I raise my glass high and say,"damn the career councelors who've tried to oppress you, and those teachers of basic reading, writing and arithmetic who wasted your precious time so, damn them to! This is a new age in the world, and America's here first! Opportunity, freedom, diversity are our battle cries, and we, the competent, are proud to be here at its start! Let me give you the keys to the city, and get out of your way.

We'll just be here at the bar if you need us.

Thanks for the grammatical help . . .

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