"So when is your wife due?"
"WE are due to have our Nth child November 8th."

"Wow, I didn't realize she was pregnant!"
"Yes, WE've been expecting for some time."

C'mon people, I understand that it is awkward to think of a married couple as one, but really, these are OUR kids that WE are having. She carries them for the first nine months, I carry them for the next 10 years, it all evens out in the end (well, in a perfect world. I'm sure that WE can both do better at sharing OUR loads).

But seriously, do you honestly think that only the female side of this marriage is having this experience?

We had our first child, and chose to go through our first pregnancy and delivery under the care of a midwife (who was a registered nurse, and associated with ob/gyns). I made every effort to go to every appointment with my wife since WE were expecting, and the midwives (there were two) would make real efforts to include me. I didn't realize how nice this was (or how not-normal it is) until our insurance changed and we had to go to a different set of midwives for our second child. We saw about 3 of the 9 midwives that worked there, and one of them actually introduced themselves to me... once... Occasionaly the others would look at me and half-smile.

Luckily our insurance changed again, and we were able to go back to our previous set of widwives midway through the pregnancy. The change was so refreshing!

We are both contributing to our family, and sometimes in very specific ways. We purchased a house, and we both have a legal obligation to pay for the mortgage. Strictly speaking, however, I produce the income that has allowed us this purchase. To extend perhapsadingo8yrbaby's rather painful analogy, were my wife to kick me in the groin she could very well say, "We've been kicked in our balls!" Strictly speaking the balls in question are attached to me and are in my care, however they are simply part of a whole that is our marriage.

If one asks me how the fetus is developing in the womb of my wife's body, then I will feel at ease making the distinction about our fetus being physically located inside my wife's body.

If, instead, one asks how the pregnancy is going, they are not only asking about the physical development of the fetus. They are showing they care about us and want to know how we are doing - emotionally, mentally, as well as physically. Right now they typically only consider the woman's emotions, mental state, and general well-being.

This is simply a plea for people to broaden their scope. I'm not saying that we should go to the other extreme. Certainly one should inquire about how my wife is doing, but they should be thoughtful and ask how I'm doing as well.

"We're pregnant" is a phrase that, when uttered by a male, is sure to draw the ire of almost any woman within earshot.

Let's examine the semantics of the word pregnant as related to procreation. Webster explicitly applies the word only to females. The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as the state of "carrying developing offspring within the body." The Oxford English Dictionary states that pregnant means "that has conceived in the womb." (OED, with characteristic thoroughness, also adds that the word can be used in the construction "pregnant by (the male parent)." By the male parent, not with the male parent.) Various medical dictionaries clinically define the word pregnant as synonymous with gestating. Notice a theme?

In other words, to say that "we're pregnant" is to imply that we are nurturing a fetus in our uterus, which will, in due time, be forcefully and painfully expelled through our birth canal in a quite literally gut wrenching manner. It ain't necessarily so.

Sorry, fellas. It's all well and good for a proud papa-to-be to take an active part in preparing for the impending arrival of a baby, including the trials and tribulations of remaining loving and supportive to a woman who is suffering through an extended period of hormonal imbalance. Naturally, the future father may desire acknowledgment for this effort, perhaps even a medal or two. However, this does not qualify him to claim that "we're pregnant." It's akin to his wife or girlfriend kneeing him in the groin and then exclaiming, "We've been kicked in our balls!"

We are expecting. She is pregnant.