After a ponderous amount of research, I decided to write a book about
The Ken and Barbie Killers. And people often ask me, why
this case ?
As
with any high-profile legal matter,
conspiracy theories abound, and
the lure of conspiracy theories is that since one can never be certain,
one could always be correct. But beyond the lurid and murky details,
one thing is assured; it is, unfortunately, a
precedent which cloaked
the truth about the crimes of
Paul Bernardo and Karla Homlka since long
before their commission.
I spoke with a man recently, a member
of the
media attendant at the trial, and he wonders "who Karla got
to, who needed to keep her free and protect her, and what she touched
that gave her such power". His questions disturbed me on a level both
primal and
feminine at once, some inner
sanctum housing the very
answers that he seeks. Not the legal, or political ones he may
expect—that is merely surface, protecting us from a truth many women
are reluctant to admit. And judging from the case of Paul and Karla,
men who are aware of it find it more unnerving than women do.
"
Learned
helplessness" is a psychological term sometimes used to describe a
facet of
battered women's syndrome; it typifies a woman so beaten
down, physically and/or psychologically, she learns her survival is
ensured by
pathological passivity and
compliance. A few women have
found this more advantageous in reverse: these are the women who
intuitively see a quieter but more
insidious power to be gained from
feigning helplessness and compliance. They've learned it keeps some men
forever in their debt, and forever wondering when the time will come
for debt collection. Some women are beaten into constant
foresight;
some women are only capable
of foresight.
Like men who only
choose
trophy-wives, certain women choose their mates the way some
tattoo shoppers choose
bad ass tattoos. Once the investment's made,
these women eagerly attend to tattoo care and maintenance. And since a
faded bad ass tattoo is an unflattering reflection, there's always
tattoo removal, or if fading starts too soon, the woman who would sport
a really bad ass tattoo wouldn't hesitate to ask for her money back.
Certainly
Paul and Karla were tattoos for each other, and even this couple from
hell had unwritten laws and unspoken rules: I give you this, you give
me that, as all couples do. But women who wear men like bad ass tattoos
won't live in the permanent ducking position of the battered wife; they
have grander vistas in mind than learned helplessness allows. Certain
bad ass designs are chosen for highly specific reasons, but the
overriding concern is to determine which man is least likely to fade
out in the end. This of course requires experience and strength, and
while she may have lacked experience, women like Homolka can always
play to their strengths because they have never been without them.
So
who did Karla get to? Men. Who needed to keep her free and protect her?
Men. Which person did she touch to obtain her power? Some man,
somewhere.
There's an old joke that goes:
Did you find what you were looking for?
Yeah, and it was in the last place I looked.
The
answers about Karla are in the first place we look. Then we use words
like "
enigma" because what we've found seems unthinkable. The men who
gave Karla her power, who protected her and kept her free, weren't evil
men; in great conspiracies everyone only has a piece of the entire
answer, but in the greatest conspiracies, everyone has all of the
answer-and it's so starkly simple everyone thinks it must be wrong, so
everyone keeps looking.
The uniquely Canadian influences on the
Bernardo/Homolka affair probably escape the notice of most American
true-crime buffs; the feminist movement got its foothold in Canada and
the U.S. at roughly the same time, but Canada is far more progressive
than we are—and less predisposed to pissing contests. Just having a
good pissing contest colors much of our government's decision-making
process, as avoiding one colors much of Canada's. Both countries have
made strides with regard to women's rights issues. But after factoring
in the different forms of government we are, more money is spent on
domestic violence programs in Canada than in the U.S, which, given the
particulars of the Bernardo/Homolka tale, is a grand little piece of
irony.
As angry as the Deal with the Devil made and still makes
people, to spend the time and money to reverse it all and reveal its
bottom-line thinking to a horde of angry marching feminists was simply
not worth it. Not when the much more cost-effective publication ban
could be issued.
Simple. Mercenary. And sexist, and I can't help
but wonder if ex-Price Waterhouse accountant, smuggler and serial
rapist Paul Bernardo appreciated the irony of it all.
The
logical conclusion of what defines a movement is always the polar
opposite of the movement's source, and human nature being what it is,
Charles Manson's "family" and its Helter Skelter philosophy was the
logical conclusion of the 60's counterculture movement. The 70's
ushered in the women's liberation movement, and, thankfully, the notion
that women are as capable as men began to gain some ground. But the
"equal pay for equal work" mantra is still an idea in its infancy, and
Karla Homolka is, unfortunately, the logical conclusion of radical
feminism.
The counterculture movement brought us Manson, as the
feminist movement brought us Homolka. Both of them exploiters of
ideals, and of women. When it suited her goals, Homolka made good use
of the best that traditional expectations of women offer, and then
proceeded to reap the benefits of a feminist stance she perverted into
victimization. For all the hype and hysteria surrounding both Bernardo
and Manson as evil spell-binders of women, it's Manson whose female
devotees took the longest to leave his side. Karla was only fleeing her
king, of course, and to his followers, Charlie was Jesus Christ. But
not for a moment do I believe that Ms. Homolka sees herself on a
continuum with Susan Atkins or Squeaky Fromme.
It's been said
that toward the end of the Bernardo-Homolka union, Paul Bernardo began
to "
disassemble"; so did every other man connected to this case upon
realizing the bad ass tattoo wasn't simply false advertising, and must
be reconciled with its petite blond owner. If this seems harsh or
overly simplistic, ask anyone who's seen Paul and Karla's video library
why her motive and involvement are still hotly debated topics; ask
someone involved in the investigation why the Deal with the Devil
didn't shatter like cheap glass once it was obvious Homolka violated
its terms; ask any man why Bernardo's role and motive in this nightmare
is taken for granted; ask yourself if you don't hear
Victorian
death-throes in the wedding of the words "compliant" and "victim".
Men like Paul Bernardo are made more dangerous by our need to purify women like Karla Homolka.
This
idea we're modern thinkers is the delusional comfort of every age, but
given too large a threat, we're constructed to revert to the
fight-or-flight instinct. In true modern-thinking fashion, I'm
certain no man involved with the Bernardo-Homolka case would deny a
woman advancement; that we're doctors, engineers, and judges, is
rightly viewed as laudable. That we can also be found in the
male-dominated world of homicidal
sexual psychopathy and that we're
capable of the same moral decline is so threatening a notion some
people prefer handing us an apron and scooting us back into the
kitchen. The simple truth that never seems to come full circle is that
whoever does the cooking also chooses the recipe.
The point is
not that a majority, or that even a good number of women are so
treacherous; there are some who find themselves lost in cycles of abuse
and are never quite sure why. But that is not our Karla, and
coincidence seems an unlikely explanation as to why she was only able
to summon the strength to leave the marital home after Bernardo began
his breakdown. For some readers my comments may invoke the image of a
violin playing for Paul Bernardo, but it should be noted that we
certainly would have snorted in unison if Bernardo had insisted he was
the victim of Homolka.
In the end, we settled for a
fairy-tale: an evil
prince, a helpless maiden. Two images from
childhood is the way it's still portrayed. All that talk and all that
time spent leveling out the playing field, for modern men and women in
a modern world—only to run and hide inside a fairy-tale at the first
real sign of danger. We tell ourselves it's justifiable, in the end; it
banished the evil prince to his prison castle
turret. But the story
of Paul and Karla isn't a fairy-tale—and we're not little children
anymore...
I chose to write about this case because we're lacking
a satisfactory answer as to what to do with its legacy; I chose it
because the woman who held an anesthetic-soaked rag over her sister's
face now rocks a cradle. For men and women alike, that is a bitter pill
to swallow. But if one must take poison it is always prudent to take it
in small doses over time, and have a chance at
immunity, like Karla.