White Van Man

created by Teiresias
(person) by Teiresias (1.2 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Thu Jun 14 2001 at 13:04:25
Male, young and often self-employed, he drives his delivery van like a maniac around city streets to meet his delivery deadlines, ruthlessly cutting up other drivers to get ahead and frequently risking accidents, the 'White Van Man' is a common species on the roads here in the UK (and probably in many other countries as well). Most often viewed as a mobile thug , or as an unruly road hog hunched behind the wheel of his rusty white charger, White Van Man has a reputation for heckling other road users for incompetent driving, or hesitation of any sort, both of which are usually met with wild gesticulations twinned with a burst of language that'd make a sailor blush.

The term was coined in 1997 by renowned social commentator, BBC Radio 2 DJ and late co-conspirator on Game For A Laugh, Sarah Kennedy . It has since 'offiicially' entered the language after gaining a place in the Collins Concise Dictionary and the Oxford Compact English Dictionary, and has even ventured into the realms of academia after the Social Issues Research Centre published a paper entitled 'White Van Man. Demon or Diamond Geezer?'

I had the misfortune of coming across a White Van Man during my driving test. He was parked on my side of the road, facing me as I drove towards him. About 2 seconds before I came level with his van, he pulled away, cutting right across in front of me and forcing me to jam on the brakes to avoid a collision - not good for your nerves, which are especially fragile during a test.

Sources include
http://www.sirc.org/publik/white_van_man.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk
http://www.quinion.com

(idea) by e-troon (4.2 wk) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Thu Jun 14 2001 at 14:28:51

White Van Man is also capable of driving his van at any speed, regardless of the actual performance capabilities of the vehicle, providing there is another vehicle no more than 9 inches in front of him.

I have postulated that Ford could probably win the F1 Grand Prix constructors' and drivers' championship by entering a single driver in a battered white Transit. Provided that they could squeeze it past the scrutineers, the van would always finish second, about 6 inches behind the flustered and hassled winner, flashing his lights and leaning out of the window. The cumulative effect of this consistency would probably win the championship, so long as Michael Schumacher had a couple of off days.

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