Where I'm from,
smiles sell for a dollar or two
and the dumps are full of 'em.
It costs, probably
a million or two to kill a guy -
legally, that is -
but a missile costs fifty thousand
where I'm from.

Man, why do you figure,
why do you think,
the first thing,
the very first thing they did in Iraq
was drop a bomb on Saddam's house?

Where I'm from,
there's a lot of good food
in dumpsters
and garbage cans.
Restaurants and grocery stores do it,
it's called artificial scarcity -
keeps prices up.
Kids in Africa are starving,
starving 'til they're skeletons for that,
where I'm from.

That's why mom told me,
she would always say,
"Clean up your plate,
there's starving kids in Africa,
in Korea,
who would kill for that food."

Where I'm from,
you have to be
sterilized
homogenized
and vaccinated,
all by age 5,
or else you can't go to school
where I'm from.

All I know is
thank God
you didn't have to know things like
tying your shoes
or the alphabet.

I would've been screwed.

That's why
where I'm from,
the Pope whips himself -
for religious reasons,
mind you -
and the President smokes weed
or snorts "a little blow",
just to get by.
Or,
at least, he did,
and he would have done that with you,
really,
when he was in college, dude.
But I can say,
with 100% certainty,
that my dad is normal -
he's an alcoholic.
That's life,
where I'm from.

Me?
I put on a face,
a face like a Hallmark card.
The truth is,
I don't want to deal with it
and I know you don't want to deal with it.
We don't have to,
we're tripping the lights fantastic.

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