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Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did"

• When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity
• I was throwing around useless proverbs when all she needed was to be held and told that she was beautiful
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• When Frederic Was a Little Lad
• I wish when I closed a book I could set it on the shelf and know it was really over
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• man when you are telling me how it was
• You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• the cutest baker in the room was making sadfaces at me when i walked out
• I got the feeling the Fairy Council was mad at me when the president knocked over her coffee to get a better grip on my neck
• Oh, when I was in love with you
• When I was a kid, I wanted to get tuberculosis
• When I was five
• God was creepier than I expected so I took it out on the little people
• Climbing cherry trees when I was younger
• This was when I knew my childhood was over
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• When I Was One-and-Twenty
• I was raised on red pepper and blood. I am so hot if you strike me I will light like a match.
• someday, when she will think back upon the time when she was as yet undishonored
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• Some time when I was a teenager
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• When I Was a Lad
• When I was ten years old
• Waiting until dusk, when it was safe
• When Desire Was a Virtue
• It was daylight when you looked up from your ditch
• When the Space Shuttle Columbia was destroyed on re-entry, I felt a deep sorrow that Cowboy Bebop was now implausible
• When again between cities was comfortable and right
• When daddy was the handsome prince
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• And when she came back she was nobody's wife
• The annoying kid told me to kick him so I did
• When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
• when you asked what I was writing, this is what it was
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• I wonder when I learned to smile when I was being hurt
• When H.A.R.L.I.E. Was One
• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• When she was new, she rolled around the sky like a black umbrella blown by the wind
• Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
• When I was Fair and Young
• back when our blood was still warm
• there was a time when you couldn't just learn things instantly
• Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
• When did everyone get so attractive?
• It was late when he came home; it woke you up
• It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• When I Was Born for the 7th Time
• When she was bad
• and when you woke up, your goldfish bowl was empty?
• When we was fat ( ... or, Lord Gym)
• When I Was a Boy
• When I Was a Babe
• everyone who ever told me i was pretty was lying.
• I don't remember what life was like when I was seven. I like the taste of air. What should I do?
• A poem I wrote when I was 5
• There was a time when I was a better person
• When touch was simple
• When I was five years old, I knew I was going to die
• Who shouted with glee when the colour blue was born?
• When I was very young, I knew that the world was made of honey.
• When did I lose my brave little soul?
• When did the World get so old?
• November 4, 1995
• The smiles you smiled when you thought no one was looking
• What I wrote when I was missing David
• When I was your age
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• I didn't know such things when I was young
• Back when grunge was still cool
• collecting on old debts from when mom was a loan shark
• Once when I got like this I thought I was building a boat
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• When I awoke, I was alone, and screaming
• I remember when all this was trees
• When I Was A Baby
• When I Was Cruel
• When I was 9
• When I was young
• When I was young Time had no wings
• Do you remember when Everything was small?
• The cactus that told me my mom was asleep
• She was so tall, and I was so in love
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• This node was made for you and me
• Little plaques that say "So-And-So Was Born Here"
• Her hair, tangled
• And when she turned into a man, we were so proud
• When You Said, "Remember Me"
• Enya Sucks So Much More When It's 4:00am at Wal-Mart
• I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
• When I Heard at the Close of Day
• Well, I was tired of being 24 anyway, so there
• and I feel so proud when the Reckoning arrives
• Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
• She was an intellectual prostitute, seducing me with profound truisms
• If I was the ocean, what would you be to me?
• (because this was always subconsciously the inspiration, even if I did not know it at the time, and I only realised it just now)
• so my crowd was Catholic, Protestant, atheist, confused, and white
• The serpent was in the garden again, but there weren't any apples left in the tree, so I figured things were cool.
• Just standing there, wearing my boxers, in my driveway. I was watching the stormfront. You were watching me.
• When did my fiance turn into my security blanket?!
• I need these blue and black halos for comfort, to remind me where I am, who I am, when I am
• She was watching me and I didn’t know it.
• My purity was little stickers I willingly gave away in exchange for hearts
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
• when strangers tell me to smile
• What will happen to me, when you die?
• A lie only hurts when it's told by people you care about
• You kissed me. It was sweet and timid.
• To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace.
• His ex-wife was so frigid, her clitoris was only the tip of the iceberg.
• Don't touch me when I'm screaming
• She dumped me when she found out I'd been faking my Scottish accent
• Would you tell me if it was true?
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• I was me before being me was cool.
• did i really change the way you think about everything? was it the chemicals in your brain?
• Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others
• Call me back when hair starts growing on his palms
• When we were little kids, running
• Live so that they cry when you're born and laugh when you die
• You should have killed me when you had the chance
• How to get an abortion when it's illegal to do so in your country
• A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying
• It's really very silly, I was thinking, they are all acting so weird
• Whereas a Naked White Man, when I met one, always appear'd a new Object unto me
• If not me, who? If not now, when?
• I don't remember what her name was so let's call her Doris
• I Hate It When It Happens To Me
• When you make your own mother cry you know you've fucked up
• So I was cold chillin on the corner on a hot summer's day
• I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now
• Everything Hitler did was legal
• All you ever did was let it happen
• When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
• You've Asked Me When I Came to Town
• I did not miss what my body did not remember, until it was reminded
• the little friendship that never was
• So bashful when I spied her
• You touched me when I needed to be touched, and for that I will hold you in my heart forever
• How to close a KFC when you're a cook
• When I close my eyes, I see New York
• I cried when I wrote this song, sue me if I play too long
• Since when did you respect anything?
• I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
• Was that real, or did I dream it?
• 'T Was Such a Little, Little Boat
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• Forgive me for who I am when I wake up
• I was not made for love songs, and love songs will never be made for me.
• She was inside the music, with her eyes closed
• I was put on hold for time to gnaw me raw.
• There was no one waiting for me...
• He is so heavy when he whispers
• the country was so nice we bombed it twice
• Okay, okay, I confess! It was me! I broke the internet!
• When did you choose to be left-handed?
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• I did not need it. I was strong. I was steady. I knew what I was doing.
• She moved so easily all I could think of was sunlight
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.

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