Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "When I meet a woman who can reliably prove to me that she can write her name in the snow while urinating, I will stand up, walk out of the room and demand a refund on that thing between my legs"

• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• the cutest baker in the room was making sadfaces at me when i walked out
• When will you humans learn that your "feelings" (as you so call them) can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?
• I a man sad, with a linux box, a slow internet connection and friends who can not see the love in me bursting to get out.
• When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• while she sleeps, i write myself into her life
• when you're done, you can let her die if that's what you want. Or you can wake her.
• Dust mop so magic she can not believe how fun it is to clean up after people
• When words fail me, music helps. I can at least sing along.
• I can only pray that, when I finally leave, I will have done little enough damage to be totally forgotten
• How can I comfort you when it breaks me too?
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• She is a night of dark trees, but he who is not afraid of her darkness will find banks full of roses under her cypresses
• Who needs love when you can have death?
• When she woke up, her hands were still dreaming
• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• Promise me disappointment so I can stop holding out for glory.
• How can a man stand when they cut off his feet?
• we can give up, but the world never will
• A child who will clearly grow up to be as demented as me
• There's a fine line between feeling a will to live and feeling a fear of death. Sometimes they can both lead you down the same path.
• Stand up for yourself, OR: How I got the shit kicked out of me
• she is the sort of woman who, when put to the magnifying glass, refused to burn
• We can meet her for you wholesale: a dreaming girl's singularity
• You can play with my ex-girlfriend, but treat her like the lady that she is.
• watch over me until i can find my way out of this labyrinth in my brain and regain my sanity
• Spinning shapes like a song out of order. In the dark she can see fireflies.
• When she sleeps, is she not moving her legs aside for an unknown garrison?
• A dose of mystery slipped into her cocktail while she was in the ladies' room
• Up, because the sky has room for us and more than we can ever make
• She dumped me when she found out I'd been faking my Scottish accent
• Forgive me for who I am when I wake up
• Who can know it?
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• Can you see the tension piling on me in waves? Look into my eyes.
• You, who can go anywhere, should uncover that mystery.
• Can you hear me Maggie Thatcher? Your boys took one hell of a beating
• I'm Harriet Harman, you know where you can get me
• I want you to hit me as hard as you can
• You can still be very hurtful when you do what's right.
• can you change the weather? show me how the raindrops turn to lies
• You make a light in the world and you hope someone can still look up from the dust for long enough to see it
• One of the most irritating things that can happen when talking
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• Famous people who can run a marathon
• How to say "I can eat glass, it does not hurt me"
• I can feel you forgetting me
• The monster stares back at me. I'm still young enough to believe that, with the right shoes, I can outrun it.
• Can you hear me flailing
• Can I wake you up?
• if you want, i can help you figure out a nice ending
• There's nothing you can do to me that Castro hasn't already done
• only the named can be destroyed
• they can drop bombs and no one will get hurt
• Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
• You can see right through me
• I can do shit with my legs
• Could/can vs Would/will
• I'm so sorry my brain works that way
• When we kiss I can hear your thoughts, so I would rather we didn't
• The man who can fix anything
• can u c me i guess n (user)
• A simple experiment that you can do at home to prove the possibility of global warming
• I have to get up early and do laundry so I can wear something nice to the weirdo sex club
• nick can write love poems again
• Can you clean up you're grammar please?
• I can write, too.
• Always talk to dead people when you can. Always.
• I Hope You Can Help Me I've Called Everywhere
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• We celebrate the holidays when we can. In the ways we can afford to.
• Don't try to make the moment last. You can ruin it that way. Just learn to savor it and, when the time comes, learn how to let it go.
• Can a woman be sexist? Can a black person be racist?
• Can someone send me a photo of the server my nodes are on, please?
• You mean she can
• I will teach you what charms and true words I can.
• Anonymous Men Think They Can Talk To Me
• What you will know in the future can affect the present
• Can You Fill Me In?
• When you are drunk, all you can see is light
• lots of small things can fill up a day without you even being aware of it
• Can my nodes be used against me in a court of law?
• Can't speed up, can't slow down - all we can do is follow these damn dogs
• All right. She can fly circles around Uranus, but where's the bathroom?
• Things that can go wrong when assembling a computer
• They leap just because they can, out of joy
• you can only make me dizzy if you're spinning me in leaves or snowflakes
• You can take the mall out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the mall
• I have a small penis. How can I sexually pleasure a woman?
• Can You Take Me Back
• The video cuts out here; nothing more can be determined from the tape.
• She found her bliss between the headphones, and pursed her lips.
• Ducks can swim. What about her pearls?
• She is glowing on fire. can she see that?
• i can tell you the dreaming up north is real and wide
• she can scream so loud you'll be looking for your ears on the floor
• from where I stand I can see they have already won
• It's dark and scary out there. The night can avenge itself.
• Can anyone bring me some Shazbot?!
• I'm alive, I can prove it.
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can make me think I deserved it.
• Why respect knights, when my potions can do anything that you can?
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• The brief nightmare waits anxiously for dawn, tearing flesh and drinking spilled blood while it still can.
• I can get away with murder, but I can't get you out of my head
• can you show me where this came from?
• I will kill you if I can
• The smell of kittens that have been careless; the flowers and the beer cans emerging from the snow.
• Only when you can accept the pain does it start to fade. That's what healing is.
• You Can Sleep While I Drive
• do you think i can get all my ideas out? so they aren't lost?
• Can You Hear Me?
• if a cycle can be broken, then it will have been worth it
• it's a pity we only appreciate some once they're gone, when they can no longer defend themselves
• it is a new dawn and I am a new me, this you can have if you want
• This is immensely rewarding when successful, but can be an extremely intensive and difficult thing to develop and practice
• I recall the last 20 years as succinctly as I can in one node: bear with me
• no power in the verse can stop me
• No Time, No Room, No Thought, or Writing Can
• That balanced place where I can sit with words coming out of my fingers
• Sometimes when I hold a child I can feel my life grow long
• Waiting for the tear gas in my room to fade away so i can sleep
• Only Jesus can judge me
• When I think of him now I can smell horses
• If I can just get Mike to the 24-hour Whipper-Snapper, I will be okay.
• We CAN walk through walls since we're only 0.01% substance
• you can use a lot of words and ideas to try to hide it, but you're always making a choice between love and hate
• When water chokes you
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• No Rack Can Torture Me
• Can You Forgive Her?
• If you can catch me, you can keep me
• How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
• If you can walk, you can dance. If you can talk, you can sing.
• Piero Manzoni
• You can now flame me, I am full of love
• Only my hours spent gaming will stand between our world and total destruction
• Building a rabbit trap out of two aluminum cans
• On the last day of 2004, we will do something in Portland. That thing is called a party. You can come.
• Listen, we ended up ruined. I find my answers where I can.
• You are at the beginning of your next trillion years, and you can spend it with us, or you can spend it curled up and shivering.
• You can get to my heart by making me cry
• Every time that I tell her that I love her, I can taste my own hypocrisy
• Anything you say can and will be used against you. (e2poll)
• Look, look! I can write inane bullshit too!
• I can see her face
• You can stand tall enough to cast a shadow, and you know this
• plain fiction that i can write myself
• It is something very shameful. Please contact me again if I can be of further service.
• Can you hear me knocking?
• I can feel the radiation... changing me...
• Can I play with your breasts? Yes, but don't get out of the yard.
• Nothing can stop me now
• Getting out of a traffic ticket
• GammaGirl, Nothing can slow her down
• you tell me i live in a malady called imagination and i only can laugh
• Don't stop. You can sleep when you're dead.
• Building a castle entirely out of Mountain Dew cans
• windows where I can look out
• can you get enough of me?
• at least in dreams when shit gets ugly you can still fly and whistle
• I can hang out with guys without fucking them!
• I can feel the heat coming off my neck when I think too hard.
• What doesn't kill you can only fuck you up for a really, really long time
• Things you can tell just by looking at her
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• Can you show me?

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