Always wanted to know what Kenny, the little orange-hooded life-defying kid in South Park, really says? This is (more or less) what. I got them from the Finnish MTV3 channel (No, not the music television) website. Most of them are originally written by Mike Kalec.

Theme song:
"I like girls with big fat titties, I like girls with big vagina"

TV commercial:
Kyle:"This program is brought to you by Magic, the gathering."
Kenny:"That sounds fucking gay."

Jay Leno Special
After all the kids are astounded by Jay's chin, Kenny says "It looks like it's made of silicon!"

Cartman gets an anal probe
1. After Kyle asks Kenny what a dildo is, Kenny says "It's a little plastic dick that goes in a vagina"
2. When the boys are talking about how far Stan can get with Wendy, Kenny says: "Maybe you can touch her pussy"
3. After the Visitors blast Kenny and Kyle thinks he's dead, Kenny gets up and says "No, I, I'm all right. Ahhhh!"
4. After he gets ran over by the cows, he gets back up and says "Nope, I'm fine. Ah!"

Weightgain 4000
1. When they are talking to Chef about him sleeping with Kathie Lee, Kenny says "Is your penis big?"
2. When Cartman thinks he is getting thinner, while he is only fattening, Kenny says "Look at the size of his boobs!"
3. After Kenny gets shot by Mr. Garrison, and is flown up in the air, he says "Oh no"

The volcano
1. After Stan says to Cartman "maybe your mom can give me a kiss too", Kenny says "Maybe she can suck my dick!"
2. After Kyle gets the flash light, Kenny says "Hey! What's that?", referring to the volcano.
3. After Jimbo throws the grenade that kills all the fish, he says it smells. Kenny says "Kinda like a vagina."
4. After Jimbo makes Kenny his official nephew, Kenny says "Cool"
5. After the lava ball lands on Kenny, he says "Nope, I'm okay"
6. After the lava ball rolls over him again, Kenny goes "Ahhh"
7. After the volcano incident is over, Kenny comes walking back and he says "Hey guys, what's up?"
8. After getting shot by Ned, Kenny says "oh no!"

Big gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride
1. While Sparky is butt raping Sylvester, Kenny sees what they are doing and says "Oh my god I think he's gay!" or "oh my god"
2. After Stan tries to say that it's Sylvester who is confused, Kenny says "Your dog's fucking guys"
3. When Stan is talking about gay people, Kenny says "Anyway, they're always fucking in the ass."

An elephant makes love to a pig
1. When talking about pig and elephants, Kenny says "Hey you guys, I talked to Garrison and he told me they're like the same."
2. When talking about how much of a wuss Stan is for getting his ass kicked by a girl, Kenny says "Or are you gonna feather your hair?"
3. After Kyle says this about what Stan should do about his sister: "Stan, you can use family love as a weapon against Shelley. The next time she's gonna kick your ass, just tell her, "Shelley, you're my sister, and I love you."", Kenny says "And I want to take off your bra."
4. When the genetic doctor comes and tells the boys about Stan's clone, Kenny says "A big mutant Stan?!?"
5. When Kenny sees the destruction that Stan's clone is causing, he says "Oh my God! What is he doin'?"

Death
1. After Kenny gets to school from being late due to diarrhea, Kenny raises his hand and says "I have to go poo."
2. After Kenny says number 1, Mr. Garrison says "didn't you just go?", and Kenny replies "No no! I gotta gotta..."
3. After Kenny comes out of the bathroom, he races back in and says "Oh my God!"
4. Kenny runs to the bathroom at Stan's and says "Oh My God"
5. After you hear Kenny make a farting sound, Kenny goes "OW!"
6. When they are discussing about what's wrong with their parents, Kenny says "Well what I think, basically, if you let the decision of what you watch to be under the parent's control, television sucks. Television sucks because parents get offended mmmmmmmmmmmm a baby sitter for their kids."(the mmmmmm is because it is unclear what he's saying)

Halloween
The only time Kenny says something is when he comes back from his grave, and it's either between him saying something or just laughing. You be the judge. Here's what he says: "Heeeyyy, I'm back, ahh."

Starvin' Marvin.
1.When the boys find out about the free sports watch, Kenny says "Woo hoo!"
2.When Stan asks what vas deferens is Kenny says "Tube that connects your nuts to your pee pee."
3.When Stan says "She said it (the sport watch) would come tomorrow" Cartman, Kyle and Kenny all say "Cool!"
4.When the turkeys come kill Kenny, he says "Uh oh".

Mr. Hanky
1.After baby Jesus is delivered by Mary, angel Kenny says "It must be a miracle!"
2.After the bird poops in his hood he says "Hey!"
3.When Cartman says Kyle's messed up Kenny says "Kyle's crazy!"
4. When they find the poop in Kyle's box Kenny says "That is the sickest thing I have ever fucking seen!"
5.When Mr. Garrison asks Kenny to remove the star above the shark tank, he says "huh?".
6.After Kenny removes the star successfully, he gives a "whew!"
7.After everyone notices that something's missing (Kenny not being dead that is), the words "The End" pop up and Kenny screams "Woo-hoo-hoo!"

Damien
Due to the fact that Kenny was a duckbilled platypus, he only said one thing. After Stan says to Damien about Kenny talking about his mom being an ugly scank Kenny says "Yeah, she looks like a fucking dog."
Also when Damien calls Satan, Satan is speaking latin. Rectuse, Domenius is "Ass Master" or in real form "Rectum Dominate"

Tom's Rhinoplasty
1.When the boys are amazed that their subsitute is so hot, Kenny says "God, I want to get a piece of her!"
2.When Chef says "You know what they say about women with long arms", Kenny says "Yeah, they can always finger their pussy".
3. When the boys are asking Stan what he did to Ms. Ellen, Kenny says "Well did you stick it in Miss Ellen's loose vagina?"

Mecha Streisand
1.When Kenny shows the carrot and marbles, he says "Yeah and I got these marbles to go with the carrot stick."

Cartman's Mom is a dirty slut
This episode was as hard as Cartman gets an anal probe. Here's my (Mike Kalec) best estimates.
1.When the boys comment on how Cartman can't make it Kenny says, "He's such a fat kid, he can't make it."
2. After the boys see Cartman having a tea party, Kenny says "What the fuck is he doing with the animals and tea?"
3.When Kenny is being dragged by the go-cart, Kenny says words like "Ow, fuck ,shit, etc."
4.After Kenny's okay, he says "No guys I'm okay...Now if I can", then he dies.

Cartman finds his father
1.After Mephesto is shot, Kenny says "Oh my god, they killed Mephesto"
2.After "Team b" is set up, and the plain is set, Kenny says "huh?"
3.When Kenny comes out of the sewer, he says "This is team b".
4.After "Team a" finds a new path, Kenny says "Are you fucking kidding me? Making me walk through the mother fuckin sewers?"
5.When Kenny looks at the shelter, he says "Yep it's there all right."
6.When Kenny reaches the power box he says "Okay now I'm at the power box."
7.After the doctor asks if Kenny can see the copper nose, Kenny says "Roger".
8.When the doctor asks Kenny if he can connect the wires he says "Nah-un".
9.When Kenny says he's going to connect the wires he says "I'll fucking do it".

Ike's Bris
1.When Chef arrives, the kids and Kenny all say "Hey Chef".
2.When Chef is disappointed about the boys, Kenny says "Oh, your penis!"
3.When Kenny pulls his hood cover, he says "Oh shit!"
4.After Kenny falls to his death, he says "Hey guys I fell down...Ah!"

Chicken Lover
1.When Kenny sees the book he says "There's a lot of hot vaginas and penises"
2.After a scream is heard, Kenny says "What was that?"
3.Kenny says "Hooray" when Kyle and Stan are cheering too.
4.When the show "Cartman" is rolling, Kenny comes up to the door and says "Hey Cartman".
5.When Mrs. McCormick is kicking her husband's ass, Kenny cheers on with "Yeah yeah yeah!"
6.When Kenny is shot he says "No, it hit my jacket".

Conjointed fetus lady
1.When Kyle is telling the other boys about the freak, Kenny says "Ew!" a couple of times.
2.When Kyle's mom shows the boys the book "Freaks A-Z" Kenny says "Gross!"

The Mexican staring frog
1.When the boys are done with their paper, the boys and Kenny say "The end".
2.When Mr. Mackey is talking over the boys Kenny says "Cause your uncle sucks dick"
3.When the boys make fun of Jimbo and Ned, Kenny says "Yeah, that ought to teach those stupid mother fuckers!"

Flashbacks
1.Kenny tell's Kyle the time is "7:35" 2.When Kenny remembers about Death, he says "Hey guys, remember that time we were chased by Death? I remember it was a looonng time ago and Death came on a tricycle and ran us down."
3.When Kenny kicks Death's ass, he says "Take this, and don't touch me, and take that and that, and that!" etc...
4.After the story is done, Kenny says "Now that's what I call a sticky situation!"
5.When Kyle corrects Kenny, Kenny says "Oh yeah."
After being taken by the big scary monster, Kenny screams and says "Hey guys he's taken...", and it fades off.
6.When the Fonz kills him Kenny says "holy fucking!"

Summer sucks
1.When the boys go to buy fireworks, Kenny and the boys say "Hey Stu".
2.When Kenny escapes his death, he says "Guys I dodged the ahh..!"

Chef's salty chocolate balls
1.When the boys are talking about Stan not being Wendy's girlfriend, Kenny says "Yeah cause you always puke on her."
2.When they're talking about Cartman's ass, Kenny says "Cartman's ass is so fucking fat that sometimes it takes up a whole room."

Chicken pox
1.When Kenny's mom tells him to come and play with his friends, he says "But mom, I'm fucking sick!"
2.When Kenny comes out he says "Hey guys, what's going on?"
3.When the boys are talking about the rats, Kenny tells us "Well, we shouldn't have any rats when we put the fucking ceiling in."

Robert Ebert should lay off the fatty foods
1.Kenny's haiku goes "When I get blowjobs, that I'll cum through discharging, that's the way to fuck". or "When I get blowjobs, I splash all the discharges, on her dirty face."
2.When Kenny first talks about the stars, he says "nothing"
3.When the lasers come on, Kenny says "whoa dude".

Clubhouses
1.When all the boys say "fine" Kenny also says "fine."
2.When Cartman's telling Kenny what to do with Endor Clubhouse, Kenny says "Well why the fuck do I have to do everything when you stand around..." and then Kenny's cut out by Cartman saying he's the worker.
3.When Cartman tells Kenny to get the carpet Kenny says "You fuck, you suck dick"
4.When Cartman tells Kenny he has to wait for the hot tub he says in a depressed voice, "Yes sir".
5.As Kenny and Cartman talk about Endor Clubhouse, Kenny says "Uh-huh".
6.After Cartman says to Kenny that they have to find chicks ,he says "YEAH!"
7.After Cartman demands that Kenny goes and finds the chicks, Kenny says, "Why do I have to go find the chicks?"
8.When Cartman asks if Kenny finds the chicks, Kenny says "Mmm hmm!"

Cow day
1.When Kenny pulls out his food stamps he says "What? These?"
2.When Kyle tells Kenny to give him the food stamps he says "Nah-uh"
3.When Kyle demands the food stamps Kenny says "Dude, these are mother fucking food stamps and how am I going to eat with out these food stamps".
4.When Cartman's lying on the ground, Kenny says "Oh my god, they killed Cartman!"
5.After the boys wonder where Cartman is, Kenny says "He ran away"
6.Stan tells Kenny to go find Cartman, and Kenny says "Okay."
7.When Kenny comes back with no Cartman and the boys ask where he is, Kenny says "I don't know, I can't find 'em"
8.Kenny is told he's on in a few minutes and he says "I know, I know!"
9.When Kenny's about to come to help Cartman, Kenny says "Nah-uh, I ain't going in that ring...ahh!"

Chef Aid
1.When Elton John says that he'll help the boys out, Kenny says "Hooray"!

Spookyfish
1. When Kenny takes more of the blanket from his brother he says "Give me this."
2. When Kenny's mom smacks him, he says "Hey Mom!"
3. After Kenny's dad asks if that was Cartman, Kenny says "Uh huh"
4. When Kenny shows his "pumpkin" he says "It's all I could afford"

Merry Christmas Charlie Manson
1. When Kenny's dad tells him to put some food in a bag, Kenny says "okay".
2. After Charlie Manson says Kenny's "around", Kenny says "Hey guys, lets go".

Mr Tweek
1. When Cartman says Kenny's happy being poor, Kenny says "Fuck you".
2. During the commercial, Kenny says "and get back to the home owned interprize" or "I hate all the fucking enterprises!"

Prehistoric Ice Man
1. When Kenny's watching TV, he says "Oh no!"
2. When Stan says Cartman killed Kyle, Kenny says "You bastard!"
3. When Kyle and Stan are arguing over what they should call the man, Kenny says "Yeah, I think you ought to name him Steve"
4. When Barbrady asks what color to pick, Kenny says "Blue".
5. Just before Kenny is smushed under the escalator belt, he says "Uh oh!"

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