MY EYES are always open, looking for you, wanting you to walk through the nearest door. I always know where you are. I know where your classes are, and sometimes wish I could go to them and sit with you, even though I'd be completely lost for the content.
MY FINGERS are always shaking, waiting, designing and re-fabricating the feelings you give them when you touch them. Always moving, always running up and down my jeans, preoccupying themselves while I wait, hoping you will come and see me.
FLEETING GLANCES suddenly mean more. Seeing you between classes makes me stop walking - literally. It's problematic at times, but that's hardly what I'm thinking about. Our eyes touch and then I can't hold it, and turn away. When I think you won't be looking, I watch you. The soft, endearing things about you. The way you try and look at me when you think /I'm/ not looking. The way you laugh. The noise you make when you're confused. The way your voice /changes/ when you talk to me, the way your eyes change when they see me. The way you dote on your baby, your little Mac Lappy that I call Rhince (because darnnit, Teddy Ruxpins are frightening).
WORDS AREN'T just words anymore. They don't mean the same thing. Talking to you is hard. Really hard. I'll have one ticket to whatever it is I have to say to keep you talking. To keep you listening, to keep your attention on me, because darnnit, I feel like I'm worth it when you do.
SO STAY. Love me. Keep me. I'm yours, I swear. I don't want to leave, and I don't want you to leave. If we can stop time right here, please do so. I don't want to miss anything. I don't want to lose you. I want to feel your arms around my waist forever, feel your breath on my cheek and hear your words in my ears.
I HAVE never felt anything like this before, and I never want to let it go. Your love for me makes me perfect. It makes me worth something, but that's not even what this is about. It's about you. About how when my mind slows down for a second, you are the first thing I think of. It's about how peaceful I feel when you hold me. It's about the butterflies that flicker around when you pass me in the hallway.
IT'S ABOUT how I can't imagine a life without you in it. How I'm scared to let you leave but could never ask you to stay, because I love you too much to fence in your world.
PICK ME. CHOOSE ME. LOVE ME. I never want to lose this, never want to lose you. I can't express this properly. These words don't feel like enough. I look at you, and I've stopped seeing the drug dealer I saw in Grade Nine. I've stopped seeing that guy with the Penny Arcade shirt I loved to pieces (the shirt, not the guy). I've stopped seeing the random Christian guy I waved to once in the hallways (and back then, waving at you was intimidating).
NOW, all I can see is love. I see someone I would never want to let go of. Whose opinion means more to me than anything. Whose every action is endearing, whose every movement is watched. Who I can't get out of my head. Who I love, care for, respect, adore, and want only the best for. Who I will never, ever be good enough for. Whose loss would be one of the most devastating experiences I have ever lived through.
And that is what it is like.
Author's Note: I'm not really sure what this is. It kind of spawned off someone asking me what I thought love was, and it kind of spawned off of a moment along the lines of "TOOMUCHEMOTIONMUSTBESPATONPAPERLESTILOSEMYMIIIIIND". This is just, what it's like, I guess. To live my life with him in it.
It's a lot better this way.
I'll probably add more pipe-links later, but when it starts taking five minutes to load each E2 page, well.... I give up.