What does it mean to feel uneasy?

True uneasiness is a combination of self-consciousness, embarrassment, anxietyand fear.

Imagine you wake up in the hotel you were staying at and you have a cold. Your nose is stuffed up. You drink some coffee, get dressed and head to the elevator.

You get in the elevator and it is empty. Your nose is totally plugged up and you close one nostril with your finger and blow out through your other nostril and you feel that giddy, liberating, weightless feel of a large booger shooting out of your nose. You are momentarily stoked! Your breathing is easier, you feel the oxygen flooding your semi-starved cells.

But then you realize that the booger that shot out of your nose had to go *somewhere* and you don't recall seeing it flit across your field of vision as it headed for the wall of the elevator......

You have just begun to feel uneasy.

And then the elevator door opens and the most BEAUTIFUL woman you have ever seen enters. She is alone and makes great eye contact with you as she enters.

Your uneasiness has just shot up.

Where did that boulder go? You thought you remembered feeling something on your upper lip that you thought was just contrails or air pressure from the receding missile.

But what if it was the booger sticking to your lip?

You notice her looking at you and you quickly nod and run your hand across your upper lip - making sure that if there is a stowaway present that you will dislodge it in a surreptitious manner. Knowing the booger is on your hand would be a blessing compared to not knowing it isn't on your forehead.

You find nothing on your upper lip. Your unease increases by threefold.

What if it got stuck on one of your arms? You rub down both arms. What about your chin.... You smile at her and rub your other hand across your chin. Nothing.

Where did it go?

It can't be ABOVE my nose...... can it??? You wipe your forehead - just in case some one in a million set of atmospheric conditions made it possible for your ejected booger to shoot upward and land there.


By this time your unease has reached the ultimate limit!

Are those looks that you thought were flirtatious glances actually her laughing at you because she sees the booger in your eyebrow?

You furiously rub your eyebrows searching for the offending matter and come up empty.

Where did it go?

Maybe it is still in your nose!

You try snorting - inhaling and exhaling in short, choppy little bursts - trying to feel if the huge rock you thought you ejected earlier was in fact only moved out of the airstream and more to the front of the nose.

That doesn't seem to work. You need to partially block the suspect nostril in order to build up enough air pressure to give you a good reading. So you cough and put your fist up to your nose and partially close of the nostril while you snort through your nose - hoping to receive some actionable feedback.

Nothing - your nose blows clean.


Where did it go?

Is it on my face? Now you begin wiping your face in a supposedly nonchalant manner. Every few seconds your shoulder will rise up as you turn towards it and wipe your face on it. Next, you will cough and cover your mouth with your fist, which will also allow it to wipe a quick swath down your cheek.

You do this for at least 6 or 7 floors.

You don't realize it, but, to an outside observer, you look like a junkie in the beginning throes of withdrawal.

The girl that was flirting with you is now studiously avoiding you.

Then the elevator stops - ground floor.

You allow her to exit first and then take a quick swipe at your nose in case it is still hung up on the rim. You come up empty again.

Well, at least the prettiest girl in the whole wide world is gone.

You go into the men's room and look at yourself in the mirror. Nothing - nada - clean.

You are safe.

The uneasiness lifts.

Life is good again.

Un*eas"i*ness, n.


The quality or state of being uneasy; restlessness; disquietude; anxiety.


The quality of making uneasy; discomfort; as, the uneasiness of the road.


Bp. Burnet.


© Webster 1913.

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