Today I buried my Grandma


Today I placed my grandma to rest. I probally should feel more then I do, but I guess it is because I feel so at ease with her death. It would also mean more to if we were close, but we were not. I mean part of it has to do with the fact that I live in Michigan and she lives in Ohio and the rest of it has to do that she was old and it was her time to die.

That raises another question, who decides when it is time to die? My faith tells my that it is God who decides. But the words, or thought, it was God's will somehow seems easy to say but to hollow when one tries to believe. As is often said, this is where the rubber meets the road in regards to my faith, but does this strengthen or weaken it?

This is a node full of questions, but are there answers to these questions? Once again, my faith says "yes, GOd is the answer," but how does that comfort someone who is hurting? I believe that God is control of everything. (I know people will disagree with me on this, but I would welcome any comments and discussion that would follow.) I do believe that God's will was for my Grandma to die. I also know that she is in heaven because of her belief in Jesus as her personal savior. But these words, seem just words as I try to help my dad deal with the death of his mom.

I guess in all of this I do have a solution to the question of how to comfort someone. The answer is to just shut up and be there for him or her. Whether it is my girlfriend needing someone after a bad day, or my dad after the death of his mom, the answer is to just say nothing. I have nothing to say that can fix the problem. Death is permenant and can't be fixed, a bad day is only passing, but they both require the same solution, to just be there for them. Someone who just sits there and cries with a person that is crying, a person who just needs to vent, they all are looking for the same fix to the problem. Just shut up and listen, that's the solution to dealing with both grief and frustration. A lot of the world's problems would be fixed if we all had someone who would listen.

My grandmother passed about a month ago.

Oddly, I have been at ease with it too. My largest difficulties with it have been in the support department with my mother and grandfather. It is hard to stand and watch the hurt there at their abrupt lack of her mother and life long partner. You want to say something profound and deeply moving to take away their pain, but nothing fits - you can't do it. I agree you just have to be there for them: listen, smile, hug and be hugged, sit quietly...

It is so strange. A woman that has been there my entire life is just gone... It changes your world view.

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