My little girl lost
I've known this would happen for years now. I've dreamed of you monthly; I've seen you in crowds
, your face floating
for a second, then lost once more in a swirl of people-- my dark-haired, doe-eyed
little girl. I've felt you inside me, yearned to comfort you, desperately tried to erase
the outcome of my dreams
. The bathtub, the trash-can...
My mind knew you were there before my body did; throughout it all, you've haunted
my head, stood silent in the corners of my psyche, the outskirts of my heart
-- those lyrical black eyes of yours threatening quietly. The dark thunderstorm of the soul approaches...
, please forgive me. I never meant for this to happen. My heart tells me you'll be back, and I will make it all up to you then... so why does this still hurt so much? Why do you weigh in my mind, and why do I see your eyes
wherever I go?
Oh, if only I could flesh you out; see you, smell you, touch you... if only I hadn't been selfish
, if only I wasn't so settled in my life right now. If only I could sing your pretty little head to sleep...
And now-- now I feel so empty, you look so accusing.
To my darling daughter
, to my "never was", please understand me. Please let me have peace, please let me sleep comfortably. Please realize that despite my selfish actions, deep down, I really do love you. And I'm sorry
Those dark eyes of yours will one day capture men's hearts. Sweetheart, they've already captured mine.