The ancient Egyptians had discovered a path to absolute reality, that is, enlightenment, I determined. Lost in History, this path is hidden from all but the most dedicated Seekers. It must be very complicated - to go that way myself would require great discipline. Since I didn't care much for discipline, I decided that it must be really very easy and only required letting go of all the artificial ties to the illusionary world. That second decision frightened me, so I forgot the whole thing.
Seeking an easier way, or at least one that I could understand better, I turned to art, believing it to be, over-all, an expression of eternal consciousness. So I made and studied poetry and art. The moderns were as useful as the ancients to divert me from coming to terms with my life, and the search was useful as well in giving excuse to numerous excesses. An artist is freer to search out alternative ways of living, and can excuse his own erratic behavior and such. So I applied for food stamps and bought a word processor. After writing for a couple of hours, I decided I needed a new pair of Boots to be successful, and so quickly put together a poem I had torn up at first, thus raising the needed cash.