Meerkat Manor is like
one of the baby pups gets lost,
and limping around with its blind dumb eyes,
it can't see that it's about to be killed
by a goddamn hippopotamus
or a rhino.

And after the infant dies,
when the adult meerkats are grooming
and we're supposed to believe they're crying,
Sean Astin cuts the tension
with a comical interlude of flutes, he says,
And next time on Meerkat Manor!
Falafel has a conniption!

No, Sean, I do not believe that Tobias
and Fez (the reprobate) snatched up Smitzen
for fun and games, a fact, I feel, I can support,
because they ate him.
They ate him, Sean, and I don't care,
I don't care if Ariel and Fitzwilliam fought a monkey,
or if Claude tried to mate with a rock.
Smitzen is dead, and his blood, Sean,
it's on your hands.