The experience that inspired this node: Saran Wrap. Oh wait, if it were Syran WrapTM then this wouldn’t be an issue... Rather I am talking about “Clear Plastic Wrap”.

It started out when I noticed that the box was all messed up. It wasn’t cut correctly so the front face of was broadened a bit. Well, no biggie, except... What’s the entire purpose of putting “Clear Plastic Wrap” in that handy dandy little box? Well of course, it’s because the box comes with one of those cheesy metal strips on the bottom with a serrated edge. And that (in theory) facilitates you in cutting the “Clear Plastic Wrap” into the size piece you want. Now... as much as I would like to go into the art of how to actually use this little device, I can’t. You see, on my half assed box of “Clear Plastic Wrap” the front face of the box that was all messed up actually extended so far out that it covered the little serrated cutting edge and rendered it useless. So there I am tugging, tugging, repositioning the “Clear Plastic Wrap”, trying to get the best angle, trying not to bunch it all up, trying not to split the “Clear Plastic Wrap” right up the middle... and then when I wanted to chuck the “Clear Plastic Wrap” right across the kitchen, did I notice that my little serrated edge was in fact borked. *Sigh*. Go to the drawer, get a knife, stab stab stab the “Clear Plastic Wrap” until you have violated it enough to then rip the rest apart... and finally. I have my piece of mutilated “Clear Plastic Wrap”.

You would think it ended there... but oh no. It gets worse. I finally have a piece of the damn stuff, and all I want to do is cover a bowl with it. I’m feeling good about myself, being responsible, I’m trying to salvage my Jax after the bag was destroyed by the cats, because otherwise they would just be thrown out the next morning... So I reach over, grab the bowl, and apply the “Clear Plastic Wrap”. Well, it is not quite so easy. This brand of “Clear Plastic Wrap” doesn’t want to stick to the bowl. I wrap it around the edge, down around to the bottom of the bowl, that’s not going to work. It doesn’t stick to itself! *Grrrr*. What’s the point of that? It’s supposed to do that, damnit. So I tried bunching it up around the rim of the bowl and tucking it under, hoping to get it stuck under there. Nope. The “Clear Plastic Wrap” just pops right back out. So... I go to my desk. Which I cleaned out just earlier that day. Started packing up all my stuff because of the upcoming move... and of course, there are no rubber bands in the drawer anymore. They are all boxed away with the rest of the desk stuff. So I rip the one rubber band I see off of some pencils, storm back to the kitchen, put the “Clear Plastic Wrap” on the bowl, throw the rubber band around the edge. KAPLINK-WHOOSH! There goes the rubber band across the kitchen under the fridge. AGH!

Screw this. I just chucked the cheese curls. Oh well! I’m buying tin foil next time. And you can bet it will be the Reynolds Aluminum FoilTM, too.

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