Having just recently gotten back into the land of No Longer Single, I have discovered a few basic rules which seem to apply:

1.You never really realize how much you are enjoying being single until you are once again involved in a relationship.

2.Just when you're getting your life together and you are merrily winding your way along life's path, along comes someone who not only interests you, but seems to actually be interested in you.

3.As soon as you are once again at the point where you have a significant other, all those people who you tirelessly pursued, but somehow were never quite able to interest enough become very friendly all of a sudden. I'm talking a matter of hours here, people. Furthermore, it is not actually necessary for them to know that you are involved, it's some kind of unconscious link with the rest of the universe.

4.God forbid, you make that final mistake and get married, they will flock to you like college students to a free meal. As soon as they see that little band of gold around your finger, and this is particularly true in the case of women, or so it seems, they zero in for the kill.

Why is it exactly that they flock when you're married? It's simple. They see that someone else has chained you down and automatically go into a mode of recognition where they say, "Hey, someone else thought enough of this person to tie themselves down for life. This person really must be something special, I want it."

The most fun is when you are just getting involved and you realized the joys of being single, which, for some reason, you can't see when you are single, and you think to yourself, "Oh no. What have I done? This is going to suck. Hey, I know, I'll make her think I'm insane." Then, after having gone to great lengths to make this person think that you're nuts and you would be better off in a mental hospital than a relationship, she's still there. In the cyclopean vortex of confusion that follows her still being around, you usually get confused enough that you start thinking irrationally, and get pulled unerringly into the plane of Significant Otherdom. Congratulations, you're now in that relationship that you've been whining about wanting for the last six months.

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