Valentine's Day. When one hears the name, what does one think. One thinks of love, a time to express oneself and at time do nice things for those who are close to one. However, there is a tainted side to all of this joyous festivity. Valentine's Day is one of the most heinous corporate plots ever invented. The real purpose of this seemingly innocent holiday is for corporate America to exploit consumers by feeding of one of humankinds most intimate desires: love and the infamous "hanky-panky." By creating a holiday based around love businesses profit off of one's need for companionship. Why else would the be all of this craziness surrounding Valentine's Day. Consider this the next next you get the desire to go do something sweet for your "honey" in the name of Valentine's Day.


Aside from being an evil corporate scheme aimed at exploiting one of humankinds most intimate instincts, support of Valentine's Day leads to nuclear war. By buying from these scheming corporations,aimed at getting your dollar so you can feel "loved," you make them more and more powerful. Eventually, they will become more powerful than the government. When this occurs, corporate America will force the government to relinquish control to it. Since business runs nearly everything in a capitalist society, the government will be forced to comply. However, the corporations, once in power won't be able to decide who controls who, which inevitably leads to a conflict for power. Now, corporate America is ruthless, and what's the best way to destroy your competition? Obliterate them, of course. Literally. The logical course of action (at least after being oversexed from Valentine's Day) to these CEOs will be to nuke the competition, thereby establishing themselves as the sole proprietor of the most powerful country on Earth (well, at least before it was nuked). Now this doesn't mean it will all happen at once, because, of course, we would have seen something in the past 100 odd years. However, each time you buy Valentine's Day paraphernalia the corporations ultimately inch closer to becoming more powerful than the government. Chew on that next time you decide to get a Valentine's Day card.

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