The Sunday Night Sex Show

Every Sunday night from coast to coast, university students across Canada are tuned into WTN. Why? To watch a woman old enough to be their grandmother speak candidly about sex.

Sue Johansen has been a sex therapist in Canada for several years. She was the lady on the radio that Yick and Arthur called on one of the Degrassi shows.

Every show has the same basic format: people phone in questions, Sue recommends a sex toy from the Pleasure Chest, more questions, Sue recommends a book, and Sue signs off with a nice rhyme about condoms.

I no longer watch the Sunday Night Sex Show, I don't have a TV, and when I did have a TV it conflicted with the Simpsons but here are some highlights:

• With the aid of diagrams, Sue and several callers try to determine what exactly a choda is
• Sue shows a caller how to perform fellatio on a wood phallus (it did not enter her mouth)
• A man who sounds like Elmer Fudd calls to ask how he should tell a girlfriend about the smell around his genitals
• Sue plays with a penis shaped water gun

Lastly some condom rhymes:

• You don't get your woody till you've bagged your goody
• Wrap your member, especially in December

According to The Sunday Night Sex Show, any sexual problem can be solved in one of three ways.

The Sunday Night Sex show, a Canadian television program that airs on Sunday nights, features a lady old enough to be your grandmother named Sue who answers callers questions about sex. This is not the standard show where the concentration is on relationships, love, and (heaven forbid) feelings. No, Sue is very frank and straightforward, answering questions that range from how to have better orgasms, masturbation, and toys. No question is too frank or weird.

After watching this show with my SO for the last few weeks, I've determined that 99% of her callers are answered on one of the following three ways:

1. Man on the bottom, woman on top. Sex hurt? Intimidated by your boyfriends 14 inch schlong? Trouble having an orgasm? Sue will almost always suggest the "man on bottom, woman on top" position, which allows the woman to control penetration, speed, and motion.
2. Use a vibrator around his balls. Questions regarding toys, and how to get a little more kinky with your partner are normally answered with telling the woman (or man, especially if it is a "I'm intimidated by my girlfriends thermos sized vibrator" question) are common. They are answered more often than not with the suggestion to get a small, finger vibrator, called the "fukuoku" and use that, and to use it on your male partner.
3. Masturbate before going out on a date. This one pretty much deals with all the premature ejaculation, "I come too early for her," "I can't satisfy my partner" questions.

It's nice to know that if I decide to go into the profession of sexual therapy that I can help pretty much every one of my patients with these three simple solutions!