The Shade Philosophy is being written because so many people have bugged me about wearing shades all the time that the answer has become permanently embedded in my brain and I have to get it out before it causes a brain cloud or spontaneous combustion or something.

Most of the answer is obvious: I'm very light-sensitive, due partially to light coloring and partially to a Transylvanian heritage. I can't drive during the day without shades, and direct sunlight gives me a headache. And yes, fashion mongers, I do know that dark Terminator shades look a little funny on a little blonde white girl, but I have to have dark lenses and wraparounds, ok?!

Er...sorry about that.

I also don't like the daytime sky at all; looking at it gives me the heebie-jeebies. Ever stare at a blue sky for awhile? It quickly becomes apparent that it's not there, and the blue loses all it's depth and substance, and now you feel like there's a sheet of vaguely reflective plastic-wrap keeping you from being out in space. No, I do not like the day sky. The night sky is at least honest.

And sometimes I wear them indoors, and probably 90% of the time this is not because it's too bright inside for me. I can stand most bright light as long as it's not sunlight. I just find that sometimes wearing shades help take the this-is-totally-real edge off the world. When everything is dimmed like that, it helps remind you that sense is still primarily a controlled illusion; that everything is transitory; and it even induces the miracle-cure perception that all this shit probably isn't that important anyway. I like reminders not to sweat the little shit. Shades can do that.

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