I have this friend that lived on the floor above me this past year. I met him at the beginning of the year outside on the steps of our dorm. He caught my attention not because of his voice, not because of his looks, but because of the content to which he was talking about.

It seems that this guy, Joe, has a roommate who likes to hook up with girls alot. Well, at the beginning of the year, kind of kidding aorund, Joe established the Sex Jar.

The roommate could have the room for himself (or for himself and his female friend) anytime he wanted to, provided he put four quarters in the slot of the jar. Of course, during the last two weeks of each semester, payment went up to six quarters per time, due to the importance of finals. Once payment was made, Joe would gather his stuff, and leave the room. However, if the roommate happened to be short on the silver, it wouldn't happen, and Joe was free to stay. Joe was telling us all that on one particular occassion, the female visitor actually chipped in the six quarters to get Joe out of the room. And, still another time, the roommate ran out of quarters and just stuck two dollars in the jar.

Anyway, the point is that Joe racked in a huge amount of money, er, change. By the end of the year, Joe had almost $80. Since he usually spent those nights on the futon in our room or chilling with us, he took us all out for drinks at the end of this semester.

The moral of this story is that if any of you happen to get a roommate who has a little fetish for sex, I suggest you get a Sex Jar. Leave it by the door, and then you can make the roommate pay for sex. It's like being a prostitute without actually doing anything illegal. The roommate is paying you for sex, but he just isn't having sex with you!!! Anyway, to a college kid, money is money, and it doesn't matter if it is in the change form or the dollar form!!!

I was at an apartment-warming party about a year ago when I experienced a little surprise. As I walked into the grungy shithole of a bathroom (it was a boy apartment - no surprise there), I noticed a jar resting on top of a porn magazine labeled "SEMEN." Needless, to say, I waited until until less suspicious circumstances before I emptied my bladder. They told me it was a joke, and I smiled and nodded accordingly before getting the hell out.

The one and only time in my life when my father and I have talked about sex was just before I got married. He said,

For the first year of your marriage, put a quarter in a jar every time you have sex. Every time you have sex after your first anniversary, take out 1 quarter. I promise you that you will always have change for the vending machine.
Then he winked and gave me that another-sucker-joins-the-club laugh. As I suspected at the time, he wasn't off the mark. What's worse is the absurd overestimation we made in the size of the jar we'd need.



(Honey, I joke. I kid! It just makes the write-up funnier if I pretend our sex life is a bit quiet. Besides, all that living together in sin siphoned off our nest egg for deposits during our newlywed year. And while I often point out to my high school friends that our child is proof that I've had sex at least once (they still can't believe it), their rejoinder is that having a small child implies that we are not having sex now.)

Remembering back to my early teens to now (today). I realize how complicated, impractically, time consuming, and just logically unreasonable it is to meet others just so you can mutually enjoy something as natural as sex. Recalling back to a couple of years ago, I remember being back from studying out of state and receiving a rather unexpected call from a high school friend/crush that I used to have (and who I also longed for to be intimate with, lol) and asking me to meet up with her. It was surprising to find out about her unsavory relationship, her cheating on her current bf, and all of a sudden her wanting us to become closer friends after she had kindly ignored any type of relationship (friendship, sex friends... etc) in hs. Of course, considering that a few years had passed since I had last seen her and my exposure to not only better attractive individuals, but more practical and mature individuals (even though she was attractive and smart herself), I could've been more interested in a mediocre tv show than her newly attracted interest in me. It was ironic how her lack of acknowledgement of my interest in her back then had now been invigorated by who knows what, and she was interested in me now, while I was more interested in finding a career and other more important matters than a complicated relationship just to get laid.

That "friendship" quickly faded as I (again) quickly forgot about that individual. Of course, facebook and all these very viral sites (like myspace) keeps you just in reach, even from those who you try to ignore. Well, another year passed and through that duration in time I came to see people from old times in highschool, and realized how fortunate it was that I really didn't have much connection to the majority of people, particularly girls who I had fantasized about. Even though I wish I could go back and just simply enjoy their physical self's, I loathe the thought of even having to relate to those individuals. Some got fat, ugly, got into abusive relationships, married/divorced, and of course had bastard kids.

Aside from amusement though, I regarded some of them as being rather dumb (not intellectually but as individuals) and a few as average. Anybody can become intellectually smart if they hold the capacity to do so. Not everybody has the common sense to do so or even the simply ability of 'common sense'. Well as the months went on I found myself digressing back to my denied pleasures of my teenage years and experimenting sexually to make up for what I had missed out.. unfortunately though, becoming intimate with now older individuals (around my age group) only meant complications. Just as most people complicate simple things. That's when I realized that missing out from the very beginning only meant that it was going to be harder enjoying those same simple pleasures in life harder than if i would've enjoyed them younger.

Certain individuals want commitment. Being either from insecurity, out of need (which commitment should never be based on for the sake of leading a healthy life with another), or just simply wanting a change for the relationship aspect in life. A college/university (same s***, believe it or not) student, shouldn't have to rush things, instead they should focus on what needs to be done in order to enjoy life later (10yrs from then/now or however long it takes you). Wouldn't it be ironic if ex's from previous relationships called you and still held on to feelings they once rejected from you and that they now wanted? Of course it would be, and that's exactly what happened an year after meeting that old high school whats-her-name, lol. It was actually creepy that she tracked me down on myspace and then later to my home phone. Not that she wasn't pretty, she did have a Great body! Unfortunately she was out-of-state from where I had studied orginally. This "friendship" had the same outcome after a while though. I gave up on her long before, and it was pointless to pursue anything (and I do mean in any way), since she was even a hassle to achieve a trustful friendship with. So along my merry way I went. The less complications in your personal life the better, right? I'm sure most people would agree with that.. and if you don't I would recommend making a distinction between personal life with a social, work life, and also interests, hobbies, family, and anything else that doesn't involve you foremost and personally.

Oh and btw, the irony in all this was that even after being passed over for by these past forgotten individuals, they simply gave it up without much hesitation to less than favorable individuals right the next minute practically. These were more or less their words after speaking with them about the past and befriending them to do so. Rather repulsing in my mind.

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