This reminds me of a joke that went around the last time that secession talk made the news down in the US...
A Newfie, a Vancouverite, and a Quebecois are walking along a beach when they spot an old brass lamp half-buried in the sand. The Newfie picks up the lamp and rubs it for kicks. And a genie emerges.
"You know the routine, guys," says the genie. "Three wishes, one for each of you."
The Newfie speaks first. "I wish that the Grand Bank will be full of fish for the rest of my life."
The genie nods. "Very well. I'll send you back home, and whenever you go out fishing, you'll always come home with a full load." He snaps his fingers, and the Newfie disappears.
The Quebecois speaks next. "I wish that Quebec were surrounded by a wall, a mile thick and five miles high, so that the rest of Canada can't get in."
The genie nods. "Very well. I'll send you back home, and Quebec will be sealed off for all time." He snaps his fingers, and the Quebecois disappears.
The Vancouverite is left. "I think I know my wish, but let me ask you how big that wall was again?"
"A mile thick and five miles high", says the genie.
"And nothing can possibly get in?"
"Neither in nor out."
The Vancouverite grins. "Great! Here's my wish! Fill it up with water!"