A bawdy wenching song
Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evenin' fair,
And one could tell by the way he walked that he'd drunk more than his share,
He stumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet,
And he stumbled off onto the grass to sleep beside the street.
Well, about that time two young and lovely girls happened by.
One said to the other, with a twinkle in her eye,
"See young sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built,
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt!"
They crept up on the sleeping Scotsman quiet as can be,
They lifted up his kilt about an inch so they can see,
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
They marveled for a moment and one said we must be gone,
We'll leave a present for our friend before we move along.
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow,
Around the bonny star the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show.
Well, the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees.
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and he gawks at what he sees,
And in a startled voice he cries to what's before his eyes,
"Ah, lad, I don't know where ya been, but I see you've won first prize!"