He slumped back against the pillows, frustrated and dejected. He had hoped that this time, it would be different. He had hoped that this time, he would be able to get it right. After all, it was all new to him, having been by himself for over three decades of his life. But somehow, to his alarm, he was numb to the sensation he thought he was supposed to feel.
She turned over to lie on her stomach and facing him, she supported herself on the bed with her elbows. Her eyes, filled with hope, gazed at him anxiously, as if good news was possible. She waited expectantly for him to say something.
There was a moment of silence. The whirling sound of the air-conditioning unit in the room had never sounded louder.
"It's not going to work."
Her face fell as soon as those words came out from his mouth. It was not entirely a surprise to her – she had recognized the expression on his face and knew it was definitely not ecstasy, but somewhere within her, she had hoped that she was wrong. When the truth finally came out to be exactly what she had feared all this while, she was utterly crushed. She nodded mechanically, a sign of understanding and agreeing to what he had just said. She repeatedly told herself to be strong, but her emotions finally gave way. Tears started to stream down her face.
"I'm so sorry, baby. I have run out of excuses," he continued in sorrow. Previously he had been confident that nothing was wrong with him – in the past he had blamed all their failed attempts on first-time jitters, constant bickering that could had set off his mood and even dingy rooms, but today, the setting was just right. The hotel room they were in, though not top of the class, was pleasantly comfortable with a touch of heritage revealed in pictures hung on the walls and classic furniture made out of wood, with yellow lights in the ceiling providing a soothing beam. True, they had been on constant disagreement at one time, but the arguments had since stopped for a month now. They were more in love with each other now than ever before. He wanted her, but somehow, his body could not react accordingly.
She did not say a thing, nor made a single sound, but her eyes continued to well up with fresh tears. She had prayed that it would not be this way. She had believed him when he told her that everything would be okay, that she should look at the positive side of things, but the situation they were in did not look anywhere near okay.
He could not take it anymore. It was one thing to see her cry, but the painful realization that he might have to let her go ripped through his heart. How could it be that he had waited for her all his life, only to have to give her up? Soon enough, he too, began to break down in uncontrollable fits of tears.
Hearing him weep was the triggering point for her. For a moment, they lay crying in each others' arms, neither knowing where to go from there. Breaking up was definitely too much for either to bear, but at that moment, it did not look like they had any other choice.