One of the many ways in which the internet has advanced human civilization is to provide innumerable useless quizzes to waste our free time. This is simply another one of them.

Haven't you always wondered what particular disease you most resemble? Well, surf to http://shite.squirming.net/afflictiontest/ and find out. Answer 16 simple and largely irrelevant questions and you'll quickly learn the answer. They even provide a nifty graphic for your personal web page. But I'm not going to put it on my web page, because the first time I took the test, it told me:

Congratulations, you're gonorrhea!

And the second time I took it, I discovered I was syphilis. I know that not all of the available diseases are venereal diseases, but damned if I can catch any of them.

I'm tempted to start The Everything Horrible Affliction Registry, but then that's just asking for trouble...

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