Table of Contents
Introduction
"What is an insult?" I am often asked. To this I usually reply: "Fuck off, you stupid idiot".
But seriously, what is an insult? Seriously, fuck off.
An insult is defined, in the Collins English Dictionary as "an offensive or contemptuous remark or action." The verb is defined as "to treat, mention or speak to rudely; offend; affront."
But the Collins English Dictionary sucks shit, so we will turn to our own definition, and thus we learn that an insult is "a derogatory way of behaving that causes someone else to feel bad, at the same time causing the person perpetuating the behaviour to feel good."
We must never forget the second part of that sentence, which in fact is the key to insulting. This brings us to the most important sentence of the essay. If you take nothing else with you from this essay, let it be this: Insulting without enjoyment is hoshbosh.
Is hoshbosh a word? Probably not. Certainly Collins English Dictionary doesn't seem to think so. But enough hoshbosh, let's get down to the real stuff.
But first, a word to our female readers:
Of course the fun of insulting is not limited solely to men. Many women, too, can (and should) be insulted. However, in order not to waste space, I have chosen to use the masculine, and omit the feminine. I realize that women reserve the right to be insulted just like men, but please, do you think we really care what a group of people who stains their clothes uncontrollably thinks?
Back to the Preface ...
Forward to Chapter I - Why Should I Insult?