An elaborate scheme used to increase profits at 7-11 has been discovered. It involves the training of all food items to escape and return to the store after they have been purchased. They are then restocked on the shelves(often without even being cleaned, sometimes in half eaten form) and sold again, and again, and again. As they perfect the technique and training, the food item resell rate increases exponentialy, as do their profits. They are sneaky bastards, those convenience store foods, if you do not keep them under close watch they will be gone quick as shit. This helps to explain the sick feeling that often follows consuming them. They are not actualy dead when you are eating them and are putting up a last struggle for life in your stomach, not even considering how many hands they have passed through before you got them (who knows where that shit has been).

(this node is brought to you courtesy of knarphie, Pseudo_Intellectual, and pukesick)

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