The Strong Silent Type is an individual that appears tall, dominant and forceful while keeping a quiet, reserved stance. A being of actions and few words. Usually the Strong Silent Type is also refered to a Dark.

See: Baron of Darkness.

I do not even agree with myself about the poem I wrote in January: Strong Silent Type.

The problem is that the strong silent type is an archetype valued at least by the US culture. It is the male in the harlequin romances. Of course, even though they can't communicate, the inexperienced girl, who the man can't resist having sex with, is correct that this is true love. They are both overcome with desire. I read one every so often and in the one I read last summer, the cowboy thanks the girl for being a virgin. Someone please kill me, this is the message for women.....

The strong silent type is a mask, an archetype, that people wear. They are still people. They still have feelings. However, our culture strongly encourages us, especially men, to stuff feelings. Don't feel them. Stuff them. Women are encouraged to have "positive" feelings. "Nice" feelings. Stuff the rest. Don't feel it.

I think feelings are information, just like feeling a stubbed toe. Sensory information. Whether we evolved or were intelligently designed, those feelings are a part of us. I think it is spectacularly stupid to label any feelings "bad". Grief, anger, fear, excitement, joy, happiness: it's all normal. We all need the full spectrum. We can't just feel half or those we are comfortable with or those we like.....

And so some of the Strong Silent Types were abused as children and/or went through horrors as adults. I had a person fill out the GAD-7, PHQ-9 and PCLC in clinic the other day, to try to sort between anxiety, depression or PTSD as dominant. (These are screening tests: not diagnostic.) The person said to me that they would be ashamed to have PTSD compared to what soldiers go through. Well, maybe, but the highest score I've ever seen is in a woman who disappeared from her family years ago. And I don't want to rank types of abuse and trauma. There are all sorts, people are endlessly creative in both cruelty and kindness, illness and healing.

Stuffed feelings are in the body: nightmares but also muscle tension, addiction, mental illness, chronic illness. The body tries to hold the feelings until the person is ready. Until the conscious person is ready. Then the body will insist.

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