sometimes you twist, always insist, that you know a way
We took Ben's car to the party that night. Our goodbyes were rushed but construction on the bridge forced us to take the long way home. Fresh snowflakes obscured Ben’s windshield. The plan was for Ben to drop me off before he went back to the party. I had to work first thing the next morning which is why I had to leave early. Outside I noticed that the snow was falling faster than it had been previously. Delicate flakes of snow cooled my face. As soon as Ben left I could take a walk and get some pictures of the snow covered evergreens. The street was so quiet I felt as if I was the only person alive that night.
should I let go now, would I even know how to anyway
I chased thoughts of Ben out of my mind and concentrated on my pictures. The first one I took turned out. The second one wasn’t as good but the third one was perfect. Snowflakes were swirling and melting in the air. I watched the snowflakes collide, mesh and fall. The air was cold, my fingers were freezing but I kept taking pictures. I snapped a picture of Ben standing against the stop sign in my neighbor’s yard. I’m sure he thought I was crazy. Why else would someone stand in the snow taking pictures of the sky at night? I asked Ben if he wanted to take a walk. He shook his head, grabbed my hand and started walking back to the car.
and all that matters, is turned around, over and over and over again
Neither of us said a thing when Ben backed out of the driveway. I turned the heat down and lowered my window. Something about seeing the snow and feeling it freeze my hand appealed to me that night. I put my frozen hand on Ben’s warm cheek and for the first time that night I got a real smile from him. It’s dangerous to take pictures when you’re driving. Ben yells at me for trying to capture what I think is the perfect sunset on my way home from work. Having a car represents freedom to me. I need freedom from other people. That night I was ready to trade my precious freedom for another night with Ben.
if I seem cautious, maybe I'm lost, can you show me now
We were back in my neighborhood when it stopped snowing. Ben drove past the lake again so I could see the snow covered bridge where he had first kissed me. He pulled off to the side of the road so we could watch the snow meet the lake. His first kiss was soft and sweet. The second was warm and coaxing. I broke it off before the song on the radio ended. I kissed him again as a way to apologize for spoiling his eveing. Ben took a couple pictures of us with my camera but none of them turned out. I took some pictures of him standing by one of my favorite trees. He kissed his fingers and tossed the kiss to me. I blew a kiss back to him hoping he would understand my unspoken message.
it comes down to now again, stay the night, don't say you don't know
Ben's dress pants matched my charcoal gray skirt. It would have been so easy to start unbuttoning his dress shirt but I was trying to play fair. Music from the car touched our ears as we leaned against the door. Snowflakes stuck in Ben's hair as he stood in front of me. The snow was falling on his face and mine. There was a smile on his face when he picked me up and stood me on top of a soft white snow bank. When he was done kissing me he picked up my left hand and twirled me around. “I want to touch you like snowflakes. I never want this night to end. Stay with me, stay the night.”
in all the making, yours for the taking, shakin' me down
Back at Ben’s apartment he turned off the heat and opened the patio door. I hung our shirts over the chair in his living room. Together we sat on the couch, naked from the waist up. Ben was waiting while I was anticipating. What happened next is something I still don't fully understand. My head was on one of his throw pillows. I was under the blanket he had pulled off the back of his couch. The air was so cold his breath hung like smoke in the air around us. Ben has very nice hands. His hands are one of the first things I noticed about him. I didn't know what to expect when Ben told me to close my eyes. His finger barely touched my eyebrow but my entire body felt the caress.
you see what we've got, you know what it's not, that turns you upside down
I have no idea how long he spent touching my face. It seemed like hours passed before his fingers touched my ear. He kissed the side of my forehead, picked up the chain of my necklace and kissed that. I felt myself relaxing and before I knew it I was crying. Ben asked if I was cold but I wasn't. I was crying because I knew he loved me. Ben reached across me for my camera. He took a picture of me crying. I took one of him with his right eyebrow raised. It was too cold in the living room to take the rest of our clothes off. I'll leave the rest of what happened to your imagination. Creative love making has always been a specialty of Ben's. That night was no different.
stay the night, let a little love show
One of the advantages of working at the mall is I know the people who work at the shops around me. I e-mailed the pictures I had taken the night before to a friend of mine who spends his time at work mounting photographs of famous athletes. When I picked my pictures up he had a couple suggestions for me. I bought magnetic sudoku and a box of magnetic poetry. Carefully we attatched the magnets to form a frame around the picture we agreed was the best. One of my friends at the Apple store burned a CD for me. The third picture I took of the snow falling on Christmas Eve is still up on Ben's fridge. Whenever people tell him they like his starry night picture Ben looks at me before he admits that those stars are really snow.
come on, stay the night.
Lyrics courtesy of Benjamin Orr
A special thanks to Sinepyriah for catching a typo of mine. 1/27/9