Star Trek Toilets

Is it me or do toilets seem to be nonexistent on Star Trek? I mean, whenever someone's called to the bridge/ops/wherever, they never use it as an excuse for being late.

Add to this the difficulty in getting in and out of those uniforms at speed, and that if you were on the bog in a battle, with all that rocking it would be rather bad for your aim....

Maybe its that the food in the replicators is all nutrition? I think not, as home grown stuff is still used. Maybe they have to go to the holodeck, though this seems a little odd. Too bad if there's a power surge....

And what would these futuristic WC's look like? Does anyone have the answer? Will they read this article? And does anyone really care? Find out on next weeks episo...aaah, forget it.

In Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, there is a scene in a lonely transporter room manned (personned?) by Uhura and some no-name lieutenant* fresh out of the academy looking for excitement. As Kirk and the rest rush in in order to make their escape from Earth, Uhura points a phaser at her hapless companion and tells him to go sit in "the closet." Since there appears to be a seat in the aforementioned closet about the height of a toilet for humanoids, I have always assumed this was a bathroom, though it is not mentioned as such for whatever reason--the high moral standards of the 1980s perhaps.

Yes, I am a geek. ========================= *The Internet Movie Database credits actor Scott McGinnis as "Lieutenant 'Mister Adventure' Heisenberg." My apologies.

According to the plans in "Star Trek Star Fleet Technical Manual" by Franz Joseph (ISBN 0-345-34074-4), there are toilets in the following locations on a Constitution Class starship:

• On the bridge, they are located immediately to the right of the main display.
• In the crew's cabins (past sets of pocket doors).
• In the security section, in all of the cells and next to the security office.
• In the medical section, in the duty nurse's quarters, the convalescent ward, and next to both ICUs.
• In the engineering section, next to the heat exchangers and near the port sump tank.

According to "Star Trek: The Next Generation Technical Manual" by Rick Sternbach and Michael Okuda (ISBN 0-671-70427-3), the Galaxy Class starship has wastewater recycling on decks 6, 13, and 24. Solid waste is processed on decks 9, 13, and 34, where recyclable waste is sent for use in the replicators. I'm still looking for blueprints to show where the toilets are, but now we know where they lead.

According to "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Technical Manual" by Herman Zimmerman, Rick Sterbach, and Doug Drexler (ISBN 0-671-01563-X), the Defiant Class starship has 13 head/shower rooms forming a semicircle around the computer core on deck 2. Also on deck 2 are head/shower rooms across the corridors from the warp nacelles. I couldn't spot any toilets in the maps of DS9, but they don't show the entire station.

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wonko says: A tiny bit of trivia most people never notice: There's a toilet in the brig in Star Trek V, and what's more, Kirk actually sits on it. It's even labeled with a warning saying something to the effect of "Do not use toilet during red alert."