Her name for herself.

God knows I would never call a woman that, 'specially this woman. Tough as nails redhead with a Mensa mind (Smarter than the average bear) and a mercenary attitude.

I heard it the first time at about 2:34 a.m (EST) when I was inspecting the width and breadth of her freckles. They were randomly scattered around her torso and I was trying to discover the new territories.

it's new for you, Cowboy, but flags have already been raised. I've been the spacklequeen since I was 12 and there's no terrain like it.

For a while I thought she was proud of them, and that it was one more part of her anatomy that was better than average. Later I learned that the nickname was a cover, unintentional irony. She actually hated having them all over and wore clothing specifically to cover some spots.

It's just overkill, yaknow? Like perfume that you can smell across the room instead of at arm's reach.

She had seriously considered plastic surgery for some locations. But decided it would be "a bad use of money." This from a woman whose idea of money management was to never spend all of your paycheck in more three days.

One day I asked her about alternatives. Why not just a few wisely chosen tatoos? Her response- typical:

Oh, God NO-how redundant.

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