So you've decided to become a silky-smooth, bald pubed person.

"I'll just read the E2 writeups on 'shaving the boys' and 'shaving the whatevers' and I'll have no problems" Right?

Wrong.

Denuding one's self of hair can lead to <dramatic music> ingrown hair.</dramatic music>

It's like this.

You buy the best, sharpest Mach 3 razor you can find, and you get into a nice hot bath, and you use the non-scented shaving cream and cut in the direction of hair growth, taking particular care not to nick yourself.

You get out, and smile at the wonderful smooth job you've done.

Perhaps you think about your partner's response to ...discovering your new nakedness for him- or her- self.

You use some sort of aftershave, and pat, not rub, dry.

And all is well with the world.

For about 12 hours.

Then, the itching begins.

At first, it's just a twinge. But soon it grows to be bigger than the rest of the world.

And it's just the beginning.

The itching becomes a fiery burning, and each individual hair follicle becomes red and inflamed. They fill with pus. And then hairs with sharp ends begin to protrude.

From about a third of them.

The rest of the hairs are curling up snugly under your skin, nestling in, making warm caves for themselves. 

Get used to them, they'll be around for quite a while.

If you've used a depilatory cream, the itching will be delayed, and less severe, but basically you'll get the same results. Itching. Redness. And those darling little hairs snugged up warmly under your skin.

Waxing is better, but if you're like me, you'll need to have it done by Someone Who Knows How.

When I tried waxing, I read all the directions carefully, followed them to the letter...

And was left standing staring at a strip of wax-covered cotton, and a reddened but no less hairy than usual mons veneris...

I felt very stupid - I think my hair likes me.

When I finally went to a salon to have most, but not all (I wasn't game to ask for a Brazilian wax) of my pubic hairs removed, the experience was neither terribly embarrassing nor terribly painful. 

I walked out of the place feeling all excited and delighted. And smooth. It was nice.

But in about 2 weeks there they were again. The subterranean hairs. 

When I went back to the salon the woman gave me advice about "exfoliating" and sold me a product called "ingrow go" which seems to help, but I still had to fish out most of the hairs using a pin and a pair of tweezers.

In short, being a silky-smooth naked-pubed person is a lot of work.

But it's worth it *grin*

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