Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "So after what feels like hundreds (but was in actuality only about nine) of job interviews where I made a complete ass of myself (because I am entirely stupid when it comes to talking to adult humans), I have signed on officially with a school district for the 2016-2017 school year."

• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• Where do these girls come from these days? Some finishing school in the desert?
• A bummer of a job, after school
• And then night was here, after a day of measured breathing, and I could forget about breathing because the waiting was done
• I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head.
• because I am lazy and enjoy staring blankly into space (which is also the space where novels come from)
• When I look into her eyes, I no longer care about what the world thinks. This is what it feels like to be alive.
• I'll look at this in a year and wonder how I could have been so stupid
• I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
• I was raised on red pepper and blood. I am so hot if you strike me I will light like a match.
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• They made the sunrise for people like us just so we have an excuse for why we're still up.
• Looks like 1984 was only n years off
• Now that I have nothing resembling a desk, I am allowing myself a node to fantasize about one
• I am letting myself down so you don't have to
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• Dammit, I am so sick of reading about other noders enjoying human companionship
• Our obsessions almost killed me, but now here we are, talking like normal human beings
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• So many people have come and gone, their faces fade as the years go by
• I need these blue and black halos for comfort, to remind me where I am, who I am, when I am
• Santa Fe Independent School District v. DOE
• We pander to each other because we love each other so much and we'd do anything to keep each other and it's made us sensitive and it's fucking killing us all.
• I am no doubt moving. The question now is not where, but how. My life changes everyday. Big deal.
• Wilson Elementary School District No. 7 of Maricopa County v. Superior Court In and For County of Maricopa
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• Talking about love is like dancing about architecture
• I have a sick mind. I like to hump myself against shelled clams and sing Oasis songs.
• Textbooks you save because there's that one chapter in back you refer to every two years or so
• Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
• Fields v. Palmdale School District
• I would have liked thunder when she left
• I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned
• the fire burned and burned; it was so great and now so much time has passed and the fire is still burning, but it requires attendance
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• I Came Out Here To Have A Good Time And Honestly I Am Feeling So Attacked Right Now
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• I've lost my memory but I have ink, so.
• What to do after leaving school
• MyBase and other VB.NET concepts designed to make you feel like a five year old
• It's not worth thinking about. Have some tea. Come walk with me.
• For future reference, when in eternity or insanity; dreams I would like to have
• If the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a hardware catalog
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• A thought that may have passed in the mind of the busboy at the cafe where I often find myself
• What school debating society taught me about politics
• About gradual producing of the thoughts when talking
• after school detention
• How to tell when a journalist has no idea what they're talking about
• And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep?
• What I learned about myself this year, 1999
• I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
• When a boy comes over, always have something baking
• Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
• The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
• Gods exist but will only talk to those who stay awake after bedtime under the covers.
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• when your pet starts to feel like a person
• Gosh! That single kiss made me feel like I'm charged up with the power of a million exploding suns!
• Why I trust myself more than I trust the government when it comes to my health.
• How it feels to be interviewed (when you know the answers)
• Nothing to worry about here! though It will come after a while.
• Every morning when I wake up, I feel guilty for all the things I have ever been
• and I feel so proud when the Reckoning arrives
• Late-night rally driving on the beach, or: Run like Hell when the cops come
• Humans have six senses, why does everyone think we only have five?
• When people ask "Where are you from?" I have to think for a minute
• If the only tool you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail
• Sachem Central School District
• Have you ever been so excited about your life that it makes you almost want to cry?
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• I don't care. I like who I am because of it.
• You Should Never Have Asked Him About His Job!
• African-American schools after Brown: what changed?
• Is There Life After High School?
• Things that would have seemed unbelievable about 11 years ago
• because I am only half of what you need
• Where the floodwaters went after the flood was over
• I am saving your nodes because I'll miss you so much
• i don't want to feel like i am the most beautiful thing around
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• Humans exist only because opposites exist
• High school can kill you
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• It all turned out all right but there was so much pain along the way
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• What Italian guys are really talking about when they say "Ey Oh"
• sometimes i worry that the more i learn about the world, the less i am myself
• It's like this train. It can't run anywhere but where its rails take it.
• Looking like a pirate is fun but only having one eye annoys me
• We completely understand the public's concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission.
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• I only leave the door open because I know that no one would dare to come in.
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• A lie only hurts when it's told by people you care about
• Where the water for the flood could have come from
• Los Angeles Unified School District
• Tinker v. Des Moines School District
• I sometimes feel like I need every human that I can form a healthy relationship with to survive
• Minersville School District v. Gobitis
• Owasso Independent School District v Falvo
• Owasso Independent School District v. Falvo
• Everytime I get XP, I feel like I have to save my game
• Choosing bitterness is taking the easy way out. It's so easy to feel bitter when you've been hurt. Path of least resistence. Forgiveness is a path that goes in a very different direction.
• When I'm wearing a bonnet and sipping pretend tea with Miss Ponykins and Zippy the Ugly Zebra, that's when I feel the most like a man
• No human artists have appeared in the Top 40 music chart for the past 5 years
• it's hard to turn away when it feels like she's singing directly to you
• If the only sexual organ you have is a penis then everything looks like a vagina
• I have a sick mind. I like to pleasure myself with a hockey stick while gargling with pureed baby.
• Is this what I have been seeking? Or is it an echo, a remnant, a sign that I was wrong?
• i don't spend a lot of time thinking about what it feels like to be gored by a chainsaw
• The mighty have fallen, and I don't feel too good myself
• I can only pray that, when I finally leave, I will have done little enough damage to be totally forgotten
• he looks a little like you... so i would rather talk about other pretty girls
• The summer after high school
• I feel disillusionment creeping up on me like the day after a 21st birthday. A deep sigh of shallow disappointment.
• After years of research, I have discovered a transcendentally delectable dessert
• "Why is my mom three thousand miles away?": Life After The E2 End of Summer Denial of School Northwest Gathering
• Don’t worry, this is only a costume that makes me look like an adult
• I like electronic music, but I am not a raver.
• Sometimes I have this dream where I am flying
• Your radical ideas about this being like David Foster Wallace have already occurred to others.
• If I am doomed to sweat my ass off in my own apartment, I feel better if I'm blasting music
• After all, the Bible says Jesus' first miraculous sign was to make 180 gallons of wine for a party!
• I am a freakin' dynamo when it comes to adding single-digit numbers
• When you fly like thunder, I am reminded of Icarus and Bellerophon. How does your myth end?
• I am in love with so much more than your body heat, but let's start there
• When I tell stories about you I have to use my hands
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• When my ten year old niece found out about masturbation
• So runs my dream; but what am I?
• I am going to rewrite you so that I can still like people.
• The hole in the ground for bodily waste when camping
• Aliens look like aliens because they're human
• I have been orbiting this planet for thirty-seven years, and am just now starting to experience reentry (document)
• The rock under my foot that told me I was real when I was an adult
• How to kick ass at a job interview
• I feel like shit today, but I can always feel worse tomorrow
• It's not so much that I like him as a person God, but as a boy he's very handsome
• because his heart was heavy, closing, like a tired eyelid
• Often I feel like I am just shouting my observations into a raging storm and no one hears
• certain wisdoms about a place can only come from dying there
• just because it was an accident doesn't mean it'll come back to life
• Poetry you found that you wrote when you were ten but secretly still like
• Talking like a pirate is fun but annoys people
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• but the only power i truly have is the strength to let it go
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• Things they don't teach you at law school but really ought to
• Famous quotes about school
• The serpent was in the garden again, but there weren't any apples left in the tree, so I figured things were cool.
• standing on my lawn, with the scissors in your hands, and you could come in where you'd like, to my paper house
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• Can't imagine why, but I feel like dancing
• When you get to the top, I know what it'll seem like. But there IS someone there. There IS someone there.
• (because this was always subconsciously the inspiration, even if I did not know it at the time, and I only realised it just now)
• When am I an adult?
• Bellmore-Merrick Central High School District
• please come stay with me in the forest so at least i have one person with whom i have no secrets
• Williamsville Central School District
• school district
• Marple Newtown School District
• The ancient Egyptians have nothing on us when it comes to cursed tombs
• trying to complete some archaic sub-quest, only to be drawn into some stupid battle every five steps
• leaving dust like unspoken years never to come
• Most adults forget what it was like to be a child once they hit a certain age

If you Log in you could create a "So after what feels like hundreds (but was in actuality only about nine) of job interviews where I made a complete ass of myself (because I am entirely stupid when it comes to talking to adult humans), I have signed on officially with a school district for the 2016-2017 school year." node. If you don't already have an account, you can register here.