After 2 and a half years of getting over an 8 year high school sweetheart type relationship, I found to my surprise that my capacity to be sappy cheesy in love with someone wasn't actually irradiated. Nor was my desire to write, sing and exist on planet Earth.

 

(A Cappella)

You say that you love me:

G                       

Like alcoholics love the weekend

C

Like a Republican loves himself

Emin

The way the news loves tragedy

D                                 

And teenagers love apathy

 

How monkeys love to fling their poo

Like cats love to meow

The way that fleas adore the pound

The way cows love to moo

 

Like Florida loves sunshine

Like Oregon loves rain

Like Texas loves secession

Like New Yorkers love to complain.

 

Like grandparents love proverbs

Like mothers love to nag

Like little sisters love to tattle

Like fathers love to brag

 

Like John Cusack loves heartbreak

Like Bogart loves to scowl

Like Marilyn loves diamonds

Like Lugosi loves to prowl.

 

Like rock & roll loves leather

Like detectives love a clue 

Like pirates love to bury treasure

But nothing like how I love you

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