On my first visit to New Orleans, I was walking down Bourbon Street one night (this was before I learned better), and I wandered into a little hole in the wall bar called the Funky Pirate because the music sounded decent and it was the only place around that wasn't overrun by drunken frat boys.

The front man for the band was Big Al Carson, billed as "485 pounds of soul." Big Al's favorite pastimes appear to be eating, fucking, and singing, in that order. However, when he isn't engaged in one of those activities, he spends most of his time colorfully berating the patrons at the Pirate for not tipping the band.

Big Al was such a character that near the end of the set, I took his admonishments to heart and made my way to the front of the bar to throw a fiver in the tip jar. Upon noticing my approach, Big Al interrupted his stirring rendition of Take Your Drunken Ass Home to point at me and exclaim directly into the microphone, "Ooh...you a sexy motherfucker, ain't you!" He then proceeded to manually jiggle his prodigious belly up and down to demonstrate that he could, in fact, move it out of the way if I was interested (I can only assume, for the health and safety of his partner, that the missionary position is out of the question).

Perhaps I would have been offended if I wasn't laughing so hard.

To see a picture of the big man himself:
http://www.bluesartstudio.at/Komponenten/L20021.jpg