#undef _CONTEXT

Quick! Get the cameras! While she still doesn't have a shirt!

<20:30> <hamsty> i wish i had someones shirt to wear
Hamster Bong recently told me in a private message on IRC that she had no shirt to wear, and by inference, is topless. We must quickly descend upon her place of residence and take many compromising photos of her and post them in odd places on the internet for her parents to stumble across!

It is currently unknown whether hamsty has on a bra, however, preliminary intelligence suggests a negative.

Back at work!

I managed to have an extended weekend due to my first bee handling experience. Every interesting...

I had gone to my cousins farm at Leongatha, Victoria, Australia because I had found out they had beehives. YUP! they had 4. wonderful!.

My Uncle and I geared up, putting on hats, netting, overalls, and gloves. We fired up the smoker - filling it with pine needles and papers, getting a nice thick blue smoke out of it, and wandered out to the top paddock, where the 4 hives resided.

The first one was a small one box hive, and we checked it for disease, and did some general maintenance - adding another box, getting ready for honey. The second hive the same, although we took 4 frames of honeycomb. The third hive was a big one, 4 boxes high, a deep resonate HUMMMMMMM of bees coming from it. We smoked it nicely and proceeded to start doing the maintenance, removing combs, replacing a few that had broken, taking out frames of honey. We forgot to keep the bees smoked. They got angry.

Attacking bees are quiet intriguing until one gets inside your face netting. Then all hell breaks loose. I managed to trap it amongst the netting, and telling my Uncle, wandered off to get it out. I thought I had moved far enough away. I was wrong. A number of very ticked off bees had followed me. When I removed my hat and netting (to get the bee out) a good half dozen of the following bees obviously went, "Ah, Commander, we have acquired target, proceeding to attack", and the attack commander went, "ATTACK SEQUENCE DELTA!" - and in they zoomed. 3 direct hits to the left forehead.

Sunday morning I awoke to a Quasimodo like face, a huge egg on my forehead, and my left eye all puffy. By Sunday night, the eye had completely swollen over. Around then i took myself off to emergency. They took a look at me, and gave my this kick arse anti-inflammatory tablet, which settled things down overnight and by monday mornings i was just 'puffy' - a really bad hay fever suffer. This 'look' has lasted 3 days now, but it's slowly getting better.

Can't wait till I get to play with them again!

Mc Donald's Now Hiring Full Time $8.00 per hour apply within

I noticed this sign yesterday outside the Mc Donald's near my house. I thought to myself, "Wow, they only paid $4.25 when I worked there in High School". The sign soon slipped from my mind, and I proceded to go about my business. The next day I realized something. I realized that I would actually make more money working at Mc Donald's than at my present job. The $1.50 per hour more I make now is completely eaten up by the gasoline costs and the wear and tear on my car from my 30 mile commute. Not to mention the fact that I would get free food from Mc Donalds, that actually puts it over the top salary wise. Plus I wouldn't have to spend an hour plus in traffic everyday.

That is so wrong.

I should not find myself at 24 years old and realizing that Mc Donald's is more attractive financially than my current job. Not that I would actually work there. Despite the advantages. It is just too much of a resume killer. I don't have the worlds greatest resume, but at least I don't have Mc Donald's listed as my employer at the age of 24.

I truly need to find a better paying job. I barely make ends meet as it is. But what in the world could I do. All my skills are computer related. That sounds good, but the employers in my areas all have wild experience demands for anything besides phone support. That would be acceptable, but those guys don't really make anything more than I do.

I know, I know. I would be a lot more successful if I actually put a little effort into it. But I don't even know where to begin. I have never had a good job in my life, and with each passing day it becomes less of a possibility.

Tuesday
San Jose Mercury News
September 25, 2001
Section: B, The Valley
http://www.bayarea.com/news

Freak Storm Strikes:

LIGHTNING KNOCKS OUT POWER TO 32,000 HOMES, CAUSES SMOKE, FIRE
--Insert night shot of San Francisco with four visible lightning bolts raining down--

According to SJMN, there were about 1,500 lightning strikes between the hours of 5 and 8PM PST throughout Northern and central California. The storm created outages in thousands of homes. A palm tree caught fire in Campbell as well as a redwood tree in West San Jose. Power lines collapsed, and the outages created some alarms to set off.

I had no idea the storm was that bad. I've witnessed maybe two or three storms with lightning and thunder before, so I thought nothing of it. At times, I could hear objects in my basement rattling from the thunder; it was so cool, so new to me! Then, #everything advised me to shut down and unplug things lest I want stuff to explode. Again, not being used to storms to such a degree as this, I thought nothing of it. I quickly changed my mind, though. I heard this loud metal clanking noise and a very brilliant light came into my basement. All of the previous lightning bolts I could not see from my basement window with its blinds closed. After the loud noise, a bunch of alarms went off. So, I quickly shut down and went upstairs. We checked the TV for the news, but the news channel was out of service. So, for the rest of the night, until the storm calmed down, I read and napped while looking out the window occasionally at the impressive lightning.

the end

Twitch MacTweakquirk


Twitch MacTweakquirk looks over his shoulders so nervously and speaks so loud, he walks in the center of the pack and tries to prove he's within the norm, he isn't the eye of the storm just a minute tragedy, he is a disaster in the making. Another soul spitting sick smoke so black and yellow, spinning downward, falling from flight despite his known ability to fly. But his ungracious fall ends peacefully, feet first.

He watches the universe begin,
When he takes a bath,
or in the meteor shower,
his life just stumbles through the twisted jungle that is his habitat, comfort like a massive hatched smashedin his back, skull split and cracked, but it's just another wild illusion, psychopathic hallucination, like a lab rat gripping these institutional bars, the cage he lives in is his nation. A space station refugee, or native earthling, he feels the natueal pull of seasons birthing fall summer and spring.

But the story switches from allegory to fable in the short stint between birth and maturity, thus begins the sacred search for purity.

"He worries me,"
His mother says,
Her eyes hurt so badly
From crying for love when she didn't have any.
Tonight I might get to see the aurora borealis. This is a VERY uncommon opportunity, considering I live in the southern US. I've seen it twice before in Alabama; once previously this year and once 11 years prior. That's appropriate since the solar flare cycle is 11 years. Hopefully tonight will be a good show. A good omen would sure be welcome right now.

I talked to my parents last night about my office closing and me losing my job. It wasn't exactly news to them...my mom's my boss, and her job is on the line too. They told me repeatedly that I shouldn't worry, and to not let this get me down. It was really nice of them to be so supportive. I'm not nearly so worried about it now. Dad and Mom both suggested that this would be a great time to get started back on my bachelors. I tend to agree; I also think that I'm more responsible and less likely to screw up again now that I've worked for a few years and am 24 as opposed to 19. I've needed something to force me to get back in school. I think this is it. I've contacted the local jr college and they have my transcript now. I'll be taking a couple of math's in the spring. I don't know what I'll use to fill out my schedule. Maybe an art appreciation and a guitar class.

The workout program has been going well...I'm getting used to the routine of getting up earlier, and I like having more of the day to use. Unsurprisingly, my soreness after each workout has abated somewhat. I seem to be putting on weight too. Maybe I'll get to the fabulous 200 mark. 15 lbs to go...and I have 11 weeks to get there. The increased discipline has been a positive change in other areas of my life too, and even seems to act as an antidepressant. Maybe it's the endorphin release from the excercise, or just that I'm sleeping better. The psychological effects are noticable too. My self-esteem is up, but I'm less concerned with what others think of me. Perhaps the metaphor most appropriate is the Gordian knot. Stated more simply...

action is better than inaction.

OK--the continuing saga of Alias Mother Jonez, and her pathetic life...

So anyway, I ran into my old acting professor (yes, Rancid_Pickle, that one) as I was leaving school yesterday. Of course, the height of the crush is passed, since I found out he was gay, but still there is that weird lingering desire for--what? for what? acknowledgement? approval? I'm not sure what.

Well, he told me that they were putting the spring musical on hold; originally, the school was going to put on Assassins, but in light of what's happened recently, he decided that people wouldn't react too well to a show where a guy talks about crashing a plane into the White House. Understandable. But here's the thing--he asked if I was going to audition for any of the schools shows, basically indicating, "Hey, go audition!"

Needless to say (I'll say anyway), I will.

"Helpdesk, this is Kevin."

I've been working too much. I know this, because even at home I answer the phone with my helpdesk lines. Well, that and not having noded in months.

Welcome to the world of everlasting boredom, the great eternal struggle of trying not to lose yourself and become just one more cog in the corporate machine. I don't mind, I have no life anyway. I give the 800 number to anyone who asks, none make the effort.

I have become nothing. And I chose this path for myself.

"Helpdesk, this is Kevin."

It runs through my head, like a mantra, eliminating all other thoughts and bringing a sense of peace.

"Helpdesk, this is Kevin."

Just leave me alone!

"Helpdesk, this is Kevin."

Sanctuary! My cube has become more comforting than home.

"Helpdesk, this is Kevin."

Put me out of my misery.

A public service announcement from a fellow noder on the subject of
Supersedeing

More and more in the database, we are seeing writeups being integrated to achieve a more fluent form of communications. This is a good thing that has been a long time coming. We, as a whole, need to understand the benefits of reducing granularity.

However.

Some people have chosen to supersede other writeups in a node by rewriting pre-existing writeups, especially pre-epoch writeups and whatnot. This is OK, but do one thing:

If you're going to supersede after the fact, credit and acknowledge the fact that your nodemates had the info in their nodes before you did. This is common courtesy because, without it, people think that the 'later' writeups are parroting what you said and they'll be downvoted, nuked and cursed for copying content when, in reality, they didn't.

This is the disclaimer: I say this because I've got no less than 2 editor /msgs in as many days saying that my X wu is just a copy of an older writeups when, in fact, they coppied me without citing. Please, give credit where credit is due. Thank you.

WOOOO!!! Half day of school

You all know what that means, don't you?
That's right - experimenting with drugs! A few weeks ago my older brother was talking about Robitussin, this of course got me intersted. So I have been reading up on DXM. The DXM faq, erowid's DXM vault, and writeups on E2 about DXM

I had planned to try it over this past weekend but my brother was home, so I went out drinking, as is the family custom. (I hope to node about that today, but I don't know if I will be able to) As it happend the administration at my school decided today would be a good day for teacher inservice, in response I decided now would be a good time to try DXM.

About an forty minutes ago(about 17:50:00 server time) I had just over around 220 mg of DXM from Robitussin extra strength. That's about 4mg/kg if my math is correct. I hope my math is correct.

Ten minutes ago I decided to up my doseage because I wasn't feeling much. I took about 120mg more when I only meant to take 60mg more. This happened because the measuring device I was using confused me and I thought it was half of what I was taking.

I have decided to post this in the daylog because: first, I'm told no one reads them, and secondly it is about my day. Finally I hope to use my scratch pad for noding other things today.


I will move most of this to another wu after I am done (hopefully)

(18:59:52 server time)I am now feeling the effects of the DXM. It is getting harder to focus on writing. However I will try and update this node with more information as I experiance it.



Server time 19:29:45)
time sems to travel strangly, fast, then slow
I feel almost drunk, My body moves on it's own, I just suggest where it should go.
I am going to lie on the and listen to music
no visuals yet
I think I hit the second plateau
some minor discontinuities(?) with time

I am both tired and very energetic, this is unlike anything I have experianced before. I tried swinging my sword, a Roman gladius, it was unusualy easy, I just told my body to swing it and it's weight was no factor.


(Server time 19:57:56)

Music plays a very big part of the experiance. I did't realize it untill I left the room with music, but I lost a lot of feeling when I did. I can't believe how fast time is passing. It seemed like it was just an hour ago.


I just realized I havn't been linking my updates. I'm sorry. I don't think I can right now though. Try back later


Server time 21:35;59, local time 6:00)

For a while there looking at the monitor on my computer was unpleasant to say the least. It has gotten better now though. This has definatly been a fun experiance. I hope to do it again, mabye over the coming weekend. It was certainly cheap enough costing about $5.50 for albout 130% of what I needed.

Many thanks to McSey who gave me advice via the chatterbox. This is one of the most voted on writeups that I have, I guess people do read the daylogs.


All done linking and correcting spelling. Sorry for taking so long.

there's something wrong with the world today, don't know what it is...

alright, i'm going to be honest here...i'm just waiting until the girl next to me finishes with her computer so that i can steal the disk left there by people before. because, i need a disk so that i can put stuff off my psych class' website on it and take it home.

i miss having the internet at my beck and call...

i also miss my teeth. a lot more than i missed them yesterday. yesterday, however, i was only missing half as many teeth. these dentures are yucky for so many reasons. maybe because my gums have been bleeding for about 24 hours now, and i can't eat anything yet. swallowed blood on an empty tummy.

i really don't think i'd be a very good vampire.

newspapers call my cancelled class on monday a bomb threat. my prof says it was a fire. i just think it was fate's way of letting my catch up on my reading.

i wish there was a way of telling people that no, i'm not just the antisocial girl in the corner, it just hurts to talk.

DAMNIT! I woke up late for work again today.


It seems that every single time I seem to get into a nice routine of sleeping and waking so that I do not miss my scheduled in-time of noon, I do this. What the hell? Is it the hydrocodone kicking me down? What is it?

Well, actually, It's a little something called routine, boys and girls. You see, with some people, having a norm creates an unusual comfort zone, and they begin to relax on what they SHOULD be paying attention to. This is apparently what is wrong with me.

Aside from that, after strolling into work in my BDU's forty-five minutes late, I sit down and begin to finalize my code. Yummy VBScript. My boss has been pressuring me to get this done so that we can "roadshow" it to the CEO's office in Austin. Now that it's in 'Complete v1.0' status, we're ready to do so. Now, the real problem is, what to do with my time..

I've thought about starting myself a new project, so that I can stay out of the queue. Nothing to work on. I've thought about getting back into the queue. I've forgotten most of what I knew on the hardware side, and been surpassed for training on the new equipment because I'm seen as a coder. I've even thought about doing nothing but sitting here on E2 all day and noding. Not a very career-advancing move. My final resolution for what to do with my time today, was to sit down with my new data cable for my Nextel phone, and reprogram it. New Java games, new applications, new....DAMN out of memory.

Also, NOL was called today, because the same programming cable can be used to turn my phone into a modem. After they realized that they "forgot" to provision my phone for data line services, we spent the next three hours setting up Nextel's dialer app to allow me to dial-up to the ISP of my choice.

All in all, a very productive day for me personally, but I'm not quite sure how my company would react if they found out how I used my time.

BTW, I'm still at work, wasting away precious time while writing this. tee-hee-hee!

Everybody holds the twin powers of creation and destruction within them.

We can create the infinite. From the pleasant feeling a stranger gets when we smile at them in passing to great works of art.

We have the power to destroy in equal measure. From the crumpling of a half-drawn sketch to the massive destruction capabilities of nuclear armaments.

Tonight, without any effort on my part, I may have destroyed a relationship. I've been an emotional basketcase over the last week, and to compound my unpleasant circumstances, I have yet to figure out why. Being something of a control freak, this makes me cross. Normally I don't let such things get out of hand, but of late I've been lonely, too. And when I'm lonely, I get depressed. And when I'm depressed, I become nihilistically self-destructive, if that isn't in and of itself contradictory. Even if it is.

Yesterday, I craved attention. I got some, but not as much as I wanted and it left me feeling mildly resentful. I put it aside and moved on.

Today started out as most days. It's Wednesday, so I got paid today, but with my finances as they are, due to my irresponsible husband, I already have only enough to cover breakfast for the rest of the week and gas. Maybe.

To say I've been busy at work would be both an overstatement and an understatement. I've had too much time and spent much of it prowling the message boards associated with the eBay Auction for America fund raising campaign. But when I have had work, it's been like the proverbial feast, threatening to crush me amid the hectic flurry of important paperwork.

I take the time during my breaks to relax and talk to people. I need to talk to people when I'm depressed and lonely. But today it wasn't an option. I couldn't log into ICQ for most of the day, logging only 15 minutes over the course of 90 that I get for breaks and lunch. And my other internet contact site (as I haven't been hanging around E2 much lately) was also not responding. For whatever reason, my work's internet connection was not allowing me to get to EA.com or PoGo.com, where I play a game to relax. As a result, I didn't relax while at work.

And so, in a rather unpleasant mood, I made my way home. Once here I managed to completely and totally alienate the one person I most want to talk to. Now he's incommunicado and I'm having bouts of crying in between long periods of hollowness inside.

I hate this. That and despair are the only feelings I can find within myself. I hate the feeling of hollowness. I hate how it eats away at my being. I really hate the very idea that right now, he's unhappy because I couldn't keep from lashing out verbally in my unhappiness.

And now I sit, writing this because I cannot speak to him. He's turned off the only way I have to contact him online as a reply to my venemous mutterings. I can't call him as he's online still. So I write. And I wait. And I worry. I worry that I've pushed too far. I worry that I've done irreparable damage. I worry that I've lost a friend. And every few minutes I cry.


I post this here as I have nowhere else. Peace.

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