September 17, 2000

I saw a guy walking down the sidewalk...
He caught my eye because the size of his head appeared disproportional to the rest of his body.
He was carrying some large bags, one in each hand, and the black strap of a red carrybag was around his neck and over the opposite shoulder.
He looked like he could use a hand...
He looked quite tired.
I wonder where he was going, and what was in those large bags!
And why was he walking? What was in the red bag? It didn't look like the sort of thing you'd just be walking down the street with, especially not for a guy like him...so what was in it? Could it have been something with a purpose?

I hope he got to his destination with satisfaction.

Well, something mildly exciting did happen to me at lunch today. I wandered over to Coffee People to grab my friend for lunch and ended up meeting the president of Troma™ Films (the creators of such fine films as "The Toxic Avenger", "Nuke 'em High", "Blood Sucking Freaks" and "Teenage Catgirls in Heat"), who happened to be standing outside talking to a mutual aquaintence. So, I ended up talking with him for a bit, he seems like a nice, if not slightly kookie, old guy. He gave me two free comics and his business card while we chatted about the six-foot-tall penis monster that is in their movie "Terrorfirmer" or "Tromeo and Juliet" (I can't remember which).

I had a Mudslide for lunch. Yum.

Have you ever done something simple, something that most people would consider to be ho hum drudgery, that makes you really proud of yourself and reminds you of your own independence?

I am a college student. As with most of my fellow college types, I do not have a car. Now, in this modern society, this makes everything from hair cuts to a "good" dinner difficult at best. When you're going grocery shopping, this is especially true. So, at about 6:00 today, I hop the bus and head into town. As with going anywhere on a bus, it takes me an hour to get to the nearest Safeway. I walk from the bus stop to the Safeway, five city blocks. I get the cart, do the shopping thing. I got some Honey Mustard Pretzels. Yum. I check out, declining to have my purchasing habits tracked by the Safeway card, and walk the five blocks back to the bus stop carrying three heavy plastic bags of food and a twelve pack of soda. I hop the bus and come home. It only took me three hours.... :)

So, I imagine you saying "What did you do that made you proud of yourself?" I just told you. I have no car. My mommy didn't buy me one. My daddy (if I still talked to him) didn't either. I have to make my own way in the world, pay for my own groceries, live my own life.

So if you don't understand why this makes me proud, fine. But if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have a coke.

I deserve it.

Uh oh... its sunday. Anyone who has ever been in school knows what that means. Its homework day.

My list of HW:
Math: 20-30 problems on series.
Freshman Writing Seminar: Read a short story and write a page on it
Chem: 10-15 problems on acid/base buffers


Thats a decent amount of work for a single day. I guess i'm not gonna be able to watch too much olympics today. Oh well... i'm sure i will live.

I got a call from my EX today, well yesterday technically...
Nonetheless, she called, and I knew when I discovered it was her, that she wanted something. Ya know how even when the wolf isn't looking at you, you can that it's thinking about how tasty you are? That's the feeling I was getting.

Steph : Hi Tex, how are you?
Tex : (disappointed that the girl on the other end is an EX) OK I suppose, how are you?
Steph : Doin' good.
Tex : How can I help you?
Steph : Just calling to check on you, see how you are doing.
Tex : Well I'm doing pretty good I suppose.
Steph : Well I gotta question for you.
Tex : (not surprised) OK shoot...
Steph : I had my brother fix my computer, you were right he had to format, I lost everything...
Tex : (small satisfaction is still satisfaction) That's ashame... (yeah fuckin right)
Steph : Well now my modem/soundcard won't work, apparently it's one thing in my computer. Can you fix it for me?
Tex : (lying very well)Nope, I don't know how to fix that, that usually means that your processor is on it's last leg.
Steph : Dammit, and I just got it fixed, oh yeah I also want back that bottle of Amaretto you have.
Tex : Yeah whatever...
Steph : Ok well I'll call and let you know how it turns out.
Tex : (hanging up phone shortly after) Don't bother.

Now maybe I should not let this bother me, but that pisses me off. She had the nerve to call and ask for something again. I can tell this is not the end of this....

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One of those rare days now, that I actually have a Sunday off. :-( The perils of a getting a new job in a company that is just starting up.

I managed to write something about Dead Sea Scrolls today and played with the two kids ...

(Hmm, the day title is uncapitalized today? =)

13:27

Yet Another Boring Sunday. I've finished reading news and discussions in many forms, the Kuro5hin armageddon clock ticks at 30:27 as of writing...

Maybe I'll actually node today. Who knows.

13:49

Hmm, I have one unconfirmed theory. Got to try that with Ethereal; I'll tell if it works later here... =)

14:05

Yep.

I didn't need much of that Ethereal then... what I found out was this:

Lyrics.ch requires an applet to browse lyrics. It's annoying, because it asks for "plugin-like permissions". Hell, do I want to "Do ActiveX" in Linux? I Don't Think So. Even if I run the applet, the lyrics come too fast for me to follow completely... (Or make screen captures.)

Turned out that lyrics.ch sends two jar archivers upon request: One that contains a bunch of ".rpf" files, apparently the actual song files, and one that contains the applet code and decoder.

RPFs are just bunch of binary stuff. To decode the stuff, there would be two ways: Cryptanalysis attack (I doubt there's anything hairy involved in this, the package didn't had any RSADareToOpenThisAndYoullDie.class =), or decompiling the applet (javap opened it nicely and produced readable fairly readable stuff... hint hint. =)

I'm too lazy. Plus, everyone knew this already. The rest would be just mathematics (an area in which I'm not really good at).

Uh oh? Well, I'll just say one thing: I'm in Finland, the server says it's in Switzerland (or it used to be there). No DMCA. Or so I've thought. Plus, as I said, this was more like "keep your eyes open and you'll see it" type of realization... =) Lesson learned: In The Web Server Side, Never Trust The Client! Heck, the mod_perl book has a loooong section on why you should be extremely paranoid about your cookies...

16:38

And the stranger asked me to make three wondrous things, so I walked to my forge and took my hammer. First, I created magic boots that let the wearer to walk on walls, then I made scissors that would easily cut the chains of a drawbridge of a mighty castle, and then I made a box that had an inexhaustable supply of food. When the stranger returned, he took these three wondrous magic items, and was very pleased.

18:02

Did some HTML atrocities (or rather, CSS abuses) for use with bk2site...

19:05

Tried to find some OCR software for Linux, but couldn't test it. Reason? Well, a) "Generate database: Take your document, type it in, and generate it with this command - oh, what you mean you won't bother for one text?" b) Tried with example database, but it didn't work because it didn't recognize my PNM file because it was a PNM file. Maybe it should have been a PNM file or something - or perharps even a PNM file. =)

19:27

Well, didn't found a cool OCR program so I had to type the dream description in. Only one page, anyway. Enjoy. I wish rieska.oulu.fi would respond, I'd probably have a few more unnoded dreams there...

22:53

I tried to find some cool molecule modelling programs for Linux, but I got bored. =( Reason for need? I'm making a coffee-inspired background picture... and need a coffeine model for it, it wouldn't be complete without... =)

22:59

If you're wondering what's up with that 16:38 log entry... that's one of the things I feel what I'm doing when I'm noding. I create wondrous things for others to marvel; there's something fairy tale style in it. I just can't explain it well...

---

Other day logs o' mine...

Noded today by y.t.: Armageddon Clock gentoo XDnD Dream Log: May 26, 2000 gimp is not superior to photoshop

Woohoo! just made level 3. Wonder if I'll stay there...

Lazy day. Got up around lunchtime after having been online all night. As you do.

I've got to do a Photography seminar on Megan Jenkinson tommorrow. Fuck...

Weird... "created by" on nodes seems to have just reappeared. Wonder why? Is this a level 3 thing or an all-over thing that was just implemented? It would stop nodeshell insults, and nodeshells in general for that matter...

Yay!!!

Long day. Worked for eight hours. Took a nap during my lunch break instead of eating. Pfaltzgraff wasn't too busy today, but still much busier than any other day of the week. I made a big goal for myself; I was going to make sure the ceramic turkey candle holders in the Thanksgiving section stayed completely stocked throughout the day. There's only room for nine of them to go out at once, so I cleared a shelf and put the bright orange $1.49 clearance sticker on each turkey. They are extremely ugly things, and yet still somewhat cute in a dorky sort of way. I wouldn't mind owning one.

I watched that Deuce Bigalow movie with my boyfriend and his brother. It was absolutely hilarious. They kept rewinding it to the courtroom scene where some anonymous person yells out "That's a HUGE bitch!" when Tina has the stand. They rolled on the floor laughing for quite some time. I stole the remote and turned it off. You can only take so much of the same line being said over and over again, no matter how funny it might be.

I am sick. My mom gave me her cold, somehow, and now talking, breathing, eating, and doing nothing is quite painful. Not to mention coughing. I am trying to ignore that tickle in my throat at this very moment. The only peace I have is sleep.

---

I just heard the news. The daughter of a friend of my mother's, Crystal, is in the hospital for Anoreixa Nervosa. She has been, off and on, since she was fourteen. Well, she's almost nineteen now. I've never met her, but I've talked to her on the phone and written letters for quite awhile, trying to encourage her to tough it out and try hard. Then she was sent to The University of Iowa Hospital in Iowa City, IA. That's the last place I was committed too before recovery. Crystal's mom doesn't know what to do anymore. They have spent a fortune on treatment, and Crystal just keeps getting worse. But they can't let her die.

The parents just called my mother and told her Crystal wants me to fly to Iowa and visit her. Of course I'll go, for her sake. But I don't know how to feel or what to think. I spent five months of my life locked in that institution, and now I have to go back? The day I was discharged, I swore never to return. But Crystal asked me to come. I can't say no for selfish reasons. Can I? I don't know what to do. If I go, Crystal will be so happy. But I will be breaking a promise made to myself and facing a past I would do anything to forget. What do I do?

Hurricane Gordon is currently sitting of the coast of northwestern Florida. The weather forcasters say that the biggest threat from Hurrican Gordon besides the coastal storm surge will be from flash floods and tornadoes. I live in south Florida, far from the center of the storm, yet yesterday a tornado touched down less that a mile away from my home. Tornado warnings are currently in effect for my county and the two counties north of mine.

The rain comes in bands. As the hurricane moves forward, bands of storms rotate counterclockwise around the eye. It's raining right now in fact. And once this storm passes in half an hour, I'll probably have about three to six hours to get home before the next one hits.

My roommate is happy about the windy and rainy weather. This means more surf for her. She came in at 7:30 this morning hooting and hollering about how huge the waves were and left in less than ten minutes with her surfboard under her arm.

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Is this the way things were meant to be?

I am lazy. This may not come as a surprise to some people here - I am terrible when it comes to updating nodes and replying to /msg's.

Life is difficult to those of us who are lazy bastards. Bills, insurance and the general sorting out of my life are always done at the last minute.

Hmm, prolly best to backtrack: I am having an operation soon and will have to organise:

• Getting to the hospital
• Someone to watch over the house
• Telling my boss that I have to have 5 weeks off work
• Tidying my house up
• Getting enough easy food to last me
• Getting painkillers
• Sorting out the medical insurance
• Getting ADSL so I don't go insane whilst stuck in the house

There's prolly a lot more to remember, but if'n I try and actually think about this and organise myself, my mind just goes blank...

Mental note: pictures. she wants pictures. (ack!)

Got up today at like 3 o'clock PM. I went out last night and saw the movie Almost Famous. It really, really sucked. The idea of the plot was pretty good, but the movie took place in a period of time when rock and roll music was dying, and this fact was even pointed out during the movie several times.

On the other hand, Kate Hudson was one of the main characters and she is simply beautiful. But she's just not hot enought to make the flick worth seeing.

Yesterday I thought Hurricane Gordon had it in for Tampa. He has, however, continued to aim for the Big Bend where the west coast meets the Panhandle.

It rained this morning, and as the water level rose I wondered if I'd need to dry out the carpet tonight. But then the water receded, and the ground nearly dried out this afternoon as a strong breeze tickled my wind chimes. Oh, there was a hurricane in the neighborhood, but it was about 100 miles offshore, and I wouldn't have known it if not for the announcements interrupting or preempting all the shows on TV.

So it's been drizzling all day, and I've been sitting here waiting for it to get more interesting. I can't believe I'm actually disappointed that I still have a home -- maybe it's just an adrenalin crash.

On the other hand, I did get some noding done, and killed my writeup for Sweden because it really stank. All in all, not a bad day.

I slept 'til 12 today. Really, it's like, such a drag. I spent most of the day playing Lufia and the Fortress of Doom. It's sluggish, dull, and has a horrific plot, but there's something so satisfying about playing it. Enh. I wrote a node called The baby Jesus can just suck it up, which, apparently, fits better here. So, as follows.

Sentence exclaimed by Mary Cameron, the mother of one of my friends. The scene: woman walks in, and Mary insults her 80s hair under her breath...

Alex: Don't do that, ma. It makes the baby Jesus cry. (Yes, it's facetiousness.)

Mary: The baby Jesus can just suck it up. He's going to be in a world of hurt if THAT's making him cry.

That wasn't so bad, was it? Well, yeah, it was. While most find it stupid and blasphemous, some found it a poor remark on the state I am in. Frankly, if that's the only thing people remember me by, I'll be sad. I went to a play called The Heidi Chronicles. Aside from a few technical problems (it's really hard to change sets in The Weekend Theatre), I liked it. It's not a self-styled masterpiece, but it's still likable, in a low-key way. I have school tomorrow. I don't want to face Ms. Donham. After rejecting my Science Fair proposal, she decided it would be hilarious to insult it, and me, in front of the class multiple times. And yes, I'd like some fucking cheese with my whine.

You know, I just lost ANOTHER couple nodes... not even a mention of it in the Editor Logs, nor even a simple /msg to let me know... I know, now I sound like I'm whining, but I just like to know these things, okay? Please?...

Woke up today. This is odd, I didn't plan on it.

After a seemingly simplistic waking up, I sat down to (What else?) IRC in #everything. I was typing away nicely, when all of a sudden-like, I felt REALLY lightheaded, REALLY quick. I should have known this was a bad sign, but I simply decided to break off, zonk out on my bed, and sleep it off until work rolled by...

Armed with the assumption that I was gonna keep zonking myself out at work, I came prepared with one of my magic tins of Penguin Caffeinated Peppermints. And a headache. A really bad one, too. Somehow I made it through the day, though my mind kept dragging up old memories of asshole manager and different, more assertive (cough) ways I could have let the scenario play out... (No, I'm not on drugs, these things come back in my head naturally)

About 6 hours and some bad stomach pains later, my headache cleared up enough for me to enjoy some mint with no headache-amplifying side effects.

Then, a phenomenon which I don't see very often occured, right in front of my face. While behind the service desk on an errand, I saw a member of Department 10 and a manager escorting a girl out. Peacefully. I thought nothing of it until I noticed everyone else at the service desk staring in that general direction. I turned just in time to see the girl resisting, then exploding into a complete spaztic rage. This was the bad kind, too... the kind that finds her biting a chunk out of that manager's finger before she goes down. Seeing nothing else better to do, I stood by the exit doors in case she broke free and bolted for the door. She didn't. I'm glad; I wouldn't have wanted to be forced to pistol-whip someone with my pricing gun.

mmm...oyoka don...soba...

Today I got up at 2:30p and adoxograph came over. We went to Strange Cargo. I bought Garbage Pail Kids (3rd and 4th series packs I found buried in the box) and a Papa Smurf Pez dispenser that had the wrong price tag on it (rule! $2 for a $5 dispenser!). We then went to the bookstore next door and I found "The Best Batman Stories Ever Told" for like $8 (HUGE comic book that spans Batman all the way back) and a Mad paperback that's all Al Jaffee shit for a couple dollars. adoxograph bought that damn Gödel, Escher, Bach book again. Then we went to Nagano (yeah, like the prefecture), which is so like the bestest Japanese place (and pretty cheap!). Oyoka don combination for me (way too much food; a huge bowl of yakisoba and a big bowl of oyoka don too) and Nigiri sushi special for adoxograph. mmm...

So I got a couple good Garbage Pail Kids. A few I remember. It's nice to remember how absolutely obsessed with those things I was. Guess it could be considered the root for playing Magic and NetRunner and Lunch Money, and collecting baseball cards for years despite not knowing anything about baseball or caring at all.

Totally were going to watch Striptease. Again. But still haven't watched it. We came home, and I think I stared at the wall or something for two hours, because I can't remember doing anything at all. adoxograph got a mean headache and like fell asleep. I searched for aliens (SETI@Home) and yelled at Sam for unhooking his computer from our mini MECHA-LAN. I finally cleaned my room up a bit. Got my desk and drawing board and bed all moved around (everything had to move like counter clockwise; it was a mess) and now it's falling into place even better than I planned. Hell, it should be quite the pad if I can get all the rest of my shit off the floor. And I need a beanbag. BAD. Really need a beanbag. Also have to hook Nintendo and Atari up to my old TV, and must buy new VCR. argh. sound like robot.

I listened to Plug (Drum n Bass for Papa), the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Soundtrack (one toke over the liiiIIIIIne), and something else but I forgot. I attempted to steal some Mocean Worker MP3s so I can know if I want to buy the CD. Horrible ratio FTP didn't work well, so I have about half. I will listen and buy if good. Eagerly awaiting A Soldier's Story. Will be good.

Don't want to work tomorrow. argh. Want to sleep, loaf, hang out with Sam, and clean my room. bah. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I'm not satisfied sitting on my ass or busy as shit. There's no way out. Good day.