This is a day of many firsts, I think. We all know, by now, the big "first" on everyone's mind. Another that just dawned on me is that some noders are able to write more than one daylog on the same date. I don't mean to sound trite, but it's a singularity that I pray- in absolute earnestness- that never befalls E2 again... the need for multiple daylog pages.
The response to today's tragedy is staggering, both here on E2 and elsewhere. There's not much that has fallen from our President's lips which impressed me, but I think his speech writer put it succinctly: quiet, unyieling anger. This is what I've seen in every American I've talked with today. Many, many, many people (myself included) are extremely pissed. Many of us are quietly waiting for a target upon which our fury can be exacted.
I am not numb with emotion. I am not foaming at the mouth with wrath. I do not want vengeance.
I am overwhelmed with remorse at today's events. I am angry beyond belief that so many innocent lives were taken. I want justice, the best beloved of all things in God's eyes.
I understand that most Americans will want to see the homeland of whoever the transgressor is become a parking lot. I understand that most people have turned the realization of their worst fears into an almost palpable fury. I cannot blame them. Part of me, the part that I keep bottled up deep deep down inside my heart, joins them in a thirst for retalliation.
I went to sleep this morning at around 5:30 AM, having just posted my first daylog for today- regarding the terrible loss of Hermetic. I was exhausted and fell asleep immediately. At 9:10 AM this morning a friend of mine called me, telling me to turn on my TV and why- the second tower had just fallen. I don't own a TV, so I instead decided to log onto E2 and watch the catbox. I figured that online news services would be clogged and my suspicions were confirmed by everyone in the catbox. A greater disaster than New York was brimming, I could feel it somewhere in my soul, from all directions. People all around me, people I don't even know the names of, were radiating disbelief, shock, anger and fear and it was all bombarding me like crazy. Their emotional upheaval coupled with mine immediately made me sick to my stomach. Luckily I had some Tagamet to calm my stomach.
I went upstairs to see if anyone was home- that is to say, my landlord's family, whom I live behind in my very own cabin. Carl, the eldest son, was alseep. I pounded on his door and woke him up. "Get up, Carl. This is a day you won't want to miss. You'll kick yourself in the ass later of you sleep through this. History is going on. Wake up. Now." He groggily asked why and I told him- that seemed to do the trick. He was on his feet in seconds, mumbling something about impossibilities. I moved my way into the living room, turned on the TV to the local Fox affiliate, pointed at it and said to Carl, "Man, this shit is not only possible, it's happening. Good morning, America. This is someone's not so subtle way of saying, 'Surprise! I'm fuckin' ya!' Sit down, have a smoke and watch." I left him alone and went back to my cabin so I could call my parents.
Mom answered. I told her it was me calling. I didn't need to ask her if she'd heard. I know my family. They know everything before everyone else. I sometimes wonder if they have a direct line to... damn well someone who gets news before the rest of us. She immediately told me that my sister, Holly, is stranded in New Jersey but perfectly safe. Her husband, my brother-in-law who worked at the WTC on the 33rd floor, was at a friend's house in Manhattan, 3 miles from ground zero. Apparently he'd had a late night last night and overslept. My sister had been visiting the family here in Nashville and was scheduled to arrive back in NYC today- via New Jersey. Both are safe, if separated. Giachery, my brother-in-law, reports that the explosion of the first plane's impact woke him up. His first thought was that he was late for work and was ready to bolt out the door until he looked out the window and saw that his place of business was smoking- then collapsing. Work, he decided, would have to wait. That was all I needed to hear. Mom told me that she had tons of other calls to make, that she loves me and that prayers were in order. I agreed wholeheartedly.
I smoked a cigarette and then packed my things for the day. I was bound for Cafe Coco. You see, I was supposed to have a job interview today at TGI Friday's at 2 PM. Since Cafe Coco is on the same block as Friday's, I figured that waiting there and being around friends would be preferable to sitting in my cabin and biting my nails. My job interview was cancled, and me without a penny to my name. News reports came over the airwaves like a flood. I sat there, drinking my coffee and smoking my cancer sticks, and listened closely to what they were saying... and paying attention to what they weren't saying. For every single thing the media tells you, there's ten things they're not telling you. Always remember that. In a situation like this, particularly when war is concerned, it is mostly a disinformation game.
The whole day was spent sitting around and listening to friends speculate about what would happen next- all that jazz. I just sat back and quietly nodded or helped someone articulate an idea or two, but kept silent mostly. Then a particular friend comes up, sits down, opens up my book bag (which I always carry with me, in case I get the urge to write something), withdraws one of my notebooks and flips open to a page he'd read last year. He began reading it out loud, announcing the date, "November 15, 2000..."
"... It's like everyone I run into has these blinders on, focusing only on what's right at their noses, meanwhile there's a Mack truck careening towards us. I can't put it any simpler: war is coming. I'm not talking about that silly shit ten years ago in Iraq- this is the real deal. You want a timeframe? How's June, 2001 or later that summer grab ya? Laugh if you want, but it is coming and there's no stopping it. People need to learn to read between the lines, dammit!
"This pony show in Florida is just the appetizer, not even an inkling of the things to come. It's the entertainment before the real show begins. Here's how it happens, in a nut shell:
"Bush will win, as much as it pains me to say so.
"Israel will break out into full-scale civil war.
"The war in Israel will begin to spread, quickly, to countries between Jews and Muslims predominantly, but both will come "under fire" from the rest of the world to stop fighting- particularly America will try to force peace.
"For sticking its nose into Israel's business, there will be a bombing on American domestic soil- a big one, perhaps nuclear in nature, perhaps not, but unmistakable. I'm thinking March or May- perhaps April or the beginning of the summer.
"From there things will really get crazy. A month or less later America will declare war in the Middle East and then a couple of Islamic nations will jump in (I'm thinking a desperation move by Iraq or Afghanistan).
"Bosnia will go right back to its normal schedule of civil war (it's already begun picking up steam again)- more Muslim fanatics will get involved.
"Russia will panic and begin a small skirmish with Iran or Turkey or Afghanistan. Iraq, of all countries, will come to the rescue of its fellow Islamic nations while attacking the US at the same time.
"France and Britain, our old Allies, will come to America's aid, if begrudgingly. They will also have some problems of their own to handle, probably financial in nature."
Everyone sitting around just stared at me and then glared. "Why didn't you say anything about this, Jay? You fucking knew!" Someone else complimented me on my crystal ball. A young woman excused herself to go throw up in the bathroom. There are times when I don't mind people reading my personal journal, but sometimes a friend just doesn't know the meaning of discretion. Okay, so it was out, I knew that it was coming. I defended myself by saying that I was easily months off. If I'd said anything about it to many people other than just my friends, I'd be in a bad position. Oh, the shit got stirred up over that! Who was I to withold that kind of information?; How could I be so calloused?; Don't I care about human life? The last really pissed me off. Of course I care about human life! But these things were already set in motion! There was no way to stop them! I wasn't playing God and I was far from calloused. I've spent the last three months in spiritual and emotional agony over this because I could practically smell it in the air. I've been sick to my stomach with stress and anxiety for weeks!
I had to go into this whole diatribe about the fact that I am not a prophet or any other such nonsense. I just see things between the lines. If anyone had paid close enough attention, they'd have seen it coming, too! It simply made sense back then. A+B+C= stay the fuck out of major cities.
I am emotionally and spiritually devastated by the massive loss of life my country has experienced today, all in the name of a religion that abhors injustice- Islam. I am a Baha'i. I learned an awful lot about other religions and I've got to tell you quite simply, that Muhammed would never condone what happened today. He would most likely have broken down in tears over this insanity. I am not Muslim, but I believe that the world's major religions come from the same source... this includes Islam. I cannot believe that Islam is responsible for today's massacre, as God would not instruct us, His children, to kill each other so frivolously.
The blood of tens of thousands of innocents is not on God's hands. He is not responsible for this overwhelming tragedy. These were the actions of some very, very ill people with very small-minded ideals, mostly cultural and corrupt in nature. I pray that justice is served, but vengeance will only beget more violence. This is my ardent wish and hope: that no more needless blood is shed.
But by looking at the situation now, from a pragmatic point of view, things look bad, bad, bad. US military bases are practically ghost towns now, most of the mechanized infantry gearing up for mobilization. Navy SEALS have been called in. Marine Special Forces are on alert and many recon officers have been told to have a good night, but expect to be called into action tomorrow. All this military preparedness would not be happening if the US wasn't 100% sure of who to take the battle to. My gut is telling me that the media has been told explicitly to stay focussed on New York while the US gets set to make its move. I expect military action to be taken either early Wednesday (today) or later in the evening. Perhaps it'll be a very public assassination. Perhaps it'll be a massive invasion. Perhaps it'll be an air strike the likes of which we've never seen before. Whatever it is, our military leaders are pulling out the big guns and are ready to rock.
The bottom line, in all of this, is that the US military will get its wish: more funding for better intelligence. As horrid as today's terror is, it has all the earmarks of what the military community calls a "Fund Raiser"- a very clear example of what can happen if they don't get their way. You can be rest assured that Congress will send funding to the intelligence community so fast, Western Union would be jealous.
The show has just started, folks. If you think we're in a state of war now, just wait a few more hours- then the real fun begins. I wonder who will end up smiling once it's all over? My money says that no one will be left smiling.
You can call me crazy if you like. Nuclear war isn't impending, but chaos is about to strike the third rock from the sun. I see it coming like it's painted in day-glo and you know what? I'm even more pissed than I was this morning.